Д ж енн і Фер

a hole in my heart.

2009-09-29T16:42:00.006-04:00

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'You and I will meet again

When we're least expecting it

One day in some far off place

I will recognize your face

I won't say goodbye my friend,

For you and I will meet again...

Maybe someday our paths will cross.'

-Tom Petty, You and I Will Meet Again.

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100 words or less: since Ukraine.

2009-09-21T17:32:00.006-04:00

Home. Unpacking. Culture shock. Adjustments. Reunions. Decisions. Really, really big decisions. India. Planning. Uncertainty. Packing. Waterloo. Moving. Final semester of my undergrad career (woo!). Questions. More adjustments. Stress. Questions. Lots of 'em. Action. Unpacking... again. Frustrations. Learning. Reflection. Classes. Learning. Loving. Constant reflection, constant education, constant exploration.

my Ukrainian home.

2009-08-31T18:49:00.001-04:00

Alina.

2009-08-31T09:20:00.009-04:00

Аліна (Alina) is fourteen years old, and was known to Jessica, Miri, and I as 'little Alina.' This was simply to differentiate Alina from an older Alina. [The older Alina being the infamous 'Alina Boss,' a well respected figure amongst the Інтeрнат girls and staff, one who was an incredibly huge help to the three of us throughout the summer.]

While going through the Інтeрнат documents in July, we learned that Alina's parents lost custody of her several years ago. This 'route' [loss of custody] is shared by several of the girls; many are not actually orphaned. Many simply have parents who are unable to care for their children due to addictions, poverty, or other similar circumstances.

As Alina is fourteen, she is grouped in the third 'class' of girls. Favourite activities of Alina (as well as the other girls in her class) include arts and crafts, singing karaoke, enjoying time outside in the courtyard or at the Інтeрнат park, playing badminton, and watching movies and television. This is all in addition to hours upon hours spent listening to music and, of course, dancing!

Alina seems to be an introvert, as she tends to be in the background of larger group situations. She is hilarious without seeking extra attention, her mannerisms and quirks crack me up (for instance, her nonchalant attitude towards the bizarre sunglasses we brought). Alina has a matter-of-fact way of being; she is laid back and patient, a positive member of her class.

Консертка!

2009-08-24T16:35:00.013-04:00

home sweet home.

2009-08-18T21:48:00.013-04:00

Nearly a week has passed since I left Austria, finally arriving home to family and friends... and I am still slightly overwhelmed by the fact that I am back to 'real life' in Canada, no longer in my Ukrainian world. Counter-culture shock? Maybe.

My body has finally gotten over the jetlag and various time differences. It was iffy for a few days; it felt like I had a unique time zone, one of my very own... A time zone existing somewhere between Caledonia, Vienna, and Ternopil (all of which seem to be worlds apart).

My taste buds have been in total shock - Cheerios, chocolate milk, (salt and vinegar) chips... oh my! I polished off three servings of pita bread tonight, to go along with my spinach dip. I have also already enjoyed Momma's homemade waffles, salami, and unlimited ketchup. It's pretty safe to say that at least half of the items on my Official Taste Bud Wish List have been eaten/inhaled.

My last few days have been full of reunions with family, friends, and a certain Lagerwerf. I also gained a new cousin, as Elise is no longer a Vos. Welcome to the fam, Joshua! Their wedding was incredible - how often is it that a backyard reception includes a visit from the ice cream truck?! An incredibly fun and beautiful day spent with people I've missed dearly.

My travels have led to adventures in Austria as well as Slovakia (!) since leaving Ukraine. More Wanderlust? Yes, please. (Oh, that nasty travel bug... it's bitten me again! Hrmmm...) Pictures of Vienna, Bratislava, and Salzburg to be posted soon-ish.

And now, my to do list is a monster. It has (once again) taken on a life of its own, and I can hardly keep track of all of the odds and ends that I need to catch up on in the next few days and weeks. All I can really say is that I have some significantly large decisions to make in terms of my plans and whereabouts for the next few months.

[Check in again soon... I plan to post pictures of the Internat concert and final days, my last few days of travelling, in addition to continuing my series of Internat profiles. Thanks all!]

farewells.

2009-08-05T15:57:00.006-04:00

"In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it."

- Marianne Williamson

sick of Сметана.

2009-08-02T14:41:00.008-04:00

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I have eaten approximately 76 omelettes since my first breakfast in Ternopil.
I have slowly warmed up to strange dishes such as varyneky and borsch, and even gotten used to espresso-sized cups of coffee.
I am incredibly grateful to Slava for the generousity she has showered me with over the last few months, but there are a few foods that aren't viable options in Ukraine.
What kind of foods, you ask? Look at my latest list for a better understanding of what my taste buds have been missing... Смачного! (fyi: the Ukrainian equivalent to 'bon appetit!')

Jen's Official Taste Bud Wish List

Bowls upon bowls of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
Cereal in general - Alphabits, Rice Krispies, Froot Loops, Honeycomb... it's all good.
Carly's infamous grilled cheese sandwiches, with a large side of (free) ketchup
a Large double-double from Timmy Ho's
minimum 6L of glorious chocolate milk (Ukrainian dairy products do not agree with my body, with the exception of ice cream)
salt and vinegar chips (of the vast array of unique Ukrainian potato chips... there is nothing that comes close to Miss Vickie's)
Popsicles
fish and chips... heavy on the vinegar, please
a Chocolate Extreme blizzard a la DQ
Garlic. Bread.
a Spicy Italian sub from Subway
popcorn so buttery it could only be found in a movie theater lobby...
Cheese Capaletti
SALAMI.
"Oma" Pancakes, with sprinkles and maple syrup
mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce
onion rings
granola bars (preferably chocolate-dipped)
hot dogs... yes, that's right. Street meat? Yes, please.
a Muffaletta sandwich (served fresh from the Black Hole Bistro)
Rockets
saltine crackers
Skim milk... like I said, my body hasn't agreed with Ukrainian dairy. Unfortunately.
Kraft Dinner
Anything else that I can load with (complimentary) ketchup.
freezies (blue, red, or peach)
my momma's homemade waffles on a Sunday morning
spinach dip... mmm.
having a brewski or two with my dad and brothers, sitting on the deck with our dogs after a days work. Not necessarily a taste, but a taste of home that dirt cheap Ukrainian beer just doesn't compare to.

my Ukrainian Bucket List.

2009-07-30T17:02:00.012-04:00

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It's close enough to Friday as I write this, meaning that my time in Ternopil is rapidly drawing to a close. I have merely one week left in Ukraine, before Jessica and I fly out of Lviv and into Vienna. After a few days of exploring Austria, I'll be heading home sweet home - absolutely crazy to think about!

There are a million and three things that I would love to accomplish before next Friday, but chances are I'll run out of time (and probably money as well). As I'm a big fan of lists, here is a glimpse at what I am affectionately referring to as my 'Ukrainian Bucket List.' Enjoy.

1. Buy (or make?) an appropriate thank you gift for Slava - something that she will actually use and appreciate, not something that will collect dust in one of the many shellacked wardrobes in this apartment... I am going to recruit Ira for help with this project ASAP.

2. Two words: Gelato. Mafia. We've been hearing delicious rumours about this little cafe from our tutors since May... our Ternopil experience would be incomplete without a visit.

3. Visit the family dacha. I need to represent the Vos family well, and prove that I do have a green thumb (even if it's a stretch). If nothing else, it will be a yummy experience - fresh berries and vegetables galore.

4. Go bowling with Olga and Yevhan. Another thing that we've been meaning to do with our tutors since May. Nothing like the last minute, eh!?

5. Host an Internat concert. We have rearranged concert plans several times, and will end up having a casual performance and a small party with the girls on Monday. Videos to be posted later, definitely.

6. Eat an entire "roll" of Морозово. Ukrainian ice cream (otherwise known as 'Морозово') is packed in the same fashion as sausage. Jessica and I plan to eat an entire roll of ice cream at some point in the next week (preferably while watching Saved By the Bell or Flight of the Conchords).

7. At least one evening per week, Jessica and I get together to catch up with the gang from Bayside. Zack, Slater, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech have been a major part of our lives in Ukraine; it's sad, but we reference these characters as if they are our friends back in Waterloo. The two of us are determined to finish watching Season Three of Saved By the Bell over the course of the next week. (You know your life is rough when this is a task on a to do list...)

8. My Opa has a massive collection of license plates from all over Canada, the US, and the rest of the world. I'm pretty positive that I've yet to see any plates from Eastern Europe gracing the walls of the greenhouse barn, which still houses all of his license plates. I've talked to some of my people, who know people... but I still might have to beg, borrow, or steal a Ukrainian license plate for Opa. Not sure how I'm going to explain it when I go through customs in Lviv. Have I mentioned how intimidating these ex-Soviet guards are? Is anyone else familiar with the term 'KGB...?'

9. Finish taking pictures and videos of my Ukrainian life - and somehow organize (and minimize?) the hundreds of photos I've already taken over the last few months. I'm hoping to also copy the Internat documentary that our friend Vera, a journalism student from Kyiv, has put together to show everyone back home. It will also hopefully be used as a great resource for Beyond Borders or anyone interested in future placements.

10. Finalize my Vienna plans. I've booked a hostel (Mom, it seems safe, no worries) and have a few ideas of what I'd like to see and do in Austria... but am definitely open to any other suggestions from anyone that has visited the area before!

11. Have an order of Krapka fries, one last time. Given my reputation as a French fry connoisseur, me and my taste buds have ventured into many strange little restaurants in both Ukraine and Poland in search of the perfect fry. Turns out the ultimate Фрий (fries) were on the menu of our neighbourhood bar, Kрапка. Random fact of the day: in Ukraine, I have to pay for ketchup seperately. It's not free. It's been an issue.

12. Somehow bid farewell to the people that I have met and grown to love and appreciate here in Ternopil. My Ukrainian 'family' consists of Slava, who has graciously opened up her home and her life to an overwhelmed Canadian kid; her sons, Ihor and Olleg, their wives, Iryna and Tania, her granddaughter Ira, and her sister, niece, and grand-nephew Nazarycik. Other people who have been a huge part of my life here are our friends and tutors, Olga, Yevhen, and Oksana; our translator, Orest; Gayla and Paul, the American missionaries; Jill, another American with a heart of gold; the church community of Calvary Chapel; and The Davids (David Alenga and David 'Kenya'); Miri - the Third Musketeer and fellow partner in all activities Internat-related; and countless others who have welcomed us here.

Veka.

2009-07-30T13:36:00.009-04:00

Века (Veka) is, like Deanna, grouped with the second-youngest class of girls. She is eleven years old, and is a big fan of hugs. She knows that despite my tough appearance (right?), I'm actually a softie deep down inside. She caught on to this little known fact quite recently and has been hunting me down for more hugs ever since.

Veka is a nickname, as her full name is Veronica. And not surprisingly, there are several Vekas/Veronicas currently living at the Internat (as well as several Yulias, Jannas, Iras, Natalias... the Ukrainian name database seems limited, no?).

One of Veka's trademarks is, unfortunately, drool. I like to think of this trademark as simply one aspect of Veka's charm :) She has big, gorgeous brown eyes, lips that would make Angelina jealous, and an all around sweet persona. Veka is non verbal, and to communicate, we rely on charades. She is not particularly social; she tends to sit alone or hover behind the rest of the girls. She is shy, but we have seen her begin to progress relationally over the course of the summer.

Veka enjoys being outside, whether in the park or sitting in the courtyard. The animal puppets were a hit with Veka, in addition to the bubbles Gayla and Jill distributed last week Tuesday.

Deana.

2009-07-29T15:04:00.011-04:00

Діяна (Deana) will be ten in September, and is part of the second-youngest class of girls. Deana has Down Syndrome, and her parents often visit her, in addition to taking her on holidays [according to the Internat documents that we viewed a few weeks ago]. The fact that Deana does have parents who haven't officially lost custody of her and even take the time to visit her is rare. In this way, she is one of the lucky ones at the Internat as she has somewhat regular contact and exposure to family life. Many girls have been abandoned at birth, are unaware of their parents whereabouts (or even their parents identity!), have experienced the death of one or both parents, etc... the circumstances for each girl are unique (as well as heartwrenching).

Deana has a raspy voice, and she is a fast talker. When I see her, our conversations tend to be abrupt - they sound something like this: "Dobrahdenjennyfuryahksprahvay?" She's got drive and spunk, which is great to see. This gives me some hope - maybe (just maybe) she will not have to live in an institutional setting for the rest of her life.

Deana is always on a mission, always on the go. This is especially true at the Internat park, when a particular swing (The Best Swing... emphasis necessary, as use of this swing can be very competitive) is free. Deana literally bolts over to The Best Swing, and it seems to be her happy place. She'd swing all day if she could.

Deana is very social. She has strong motor and communication skills. Besides swinging, she also loves to pick flowers (I was presented with a huge bouquet of daisies yesterday).

Vera.

2009-07-28T16:56:00.011-04:00

The last of the malankas (eight girls in total) is six year old Віра (Vera). Vera is Miri's 'little buddy,' she is also a little ray of sunshine. The picture above is of Vera in action: she is absolutely full of smiles, always laughing. Once this girl gets going with the giggles, it is tough to calm her down...

Vera is one of the most high functioning malankas. She has strong motor skills, a large vocabulary, and is very talkative. Able to communicate with all three of us in addition to those around her, Vera is inquisitive, full of questions. She seems to know what is going on with the rest of the girls in her group, whether we are in their classroom or playing in the park outside and shares this information with us (though our Ukrainian is of course, limited).

We did not see much of Vera for the first two or three weeks of our work at the Internat. According to the documents, both of her parents have passed away, so we are unsure where she was - she appeared out of nowhere (we are generally not provided with updates on the girls' whereabouts if we do not see certain girls for a period of time).

Friendly and full of enthusiasm, Vera is content with her environment. She looooves spending time on the teeter totter and hanging upside down on the monkey bars with Znyjana. She prefers the park to the classroom, and is a positive influence with her fellow malankas.

Merma.

2009-07-25T06:09:00.016-04:00

I affectionately call Марусія (Maroosia) by a nickname: "Merma." Now, Orest has told me that merma is a Ukrainian word that refers to an old, unattractive woman. I had no idea - this nickname was not meant to be offensive for Maroosia, it is just the result of me asking her what her name was. Her verbal skills are weak, yet she was able to answer quietly, "Merma." And so I refer to Maroosia as Merma, as an innocent term of endearment.

One of the eldest girls of the Internat, Merma is 26 years old. She is a child at heart; her abilities reflect this. She adores anything that is soft and cuddly, whether it is a stuffed animal or another person. I've often been the target of her bear hugs. I sometimes feel as though I have a shadow, when Merma is trailing behind me when we are outside in the park or in the courtyard.

Merma is taller than me, and I don't think that she realizes how strong she is (for example, the bear hugs - I've been squished as a result of these on several occasions). She tends to scrunch up her face to express her moods, whether she is happy, sad, excited, or scared. For the most part, Merma is non-verbal. She communicates by various gestures and sounds, and once in a while uses the few words that she does know.

Merma is also fascinated by random objects, just as several of the other girls are. Objects may include string, paper, a broken toy, or a scrap of garbage. She was especially ecstatic on our animal theme day, when I gave her a chicken puppet - her face was priceless. Merma also loves bubbles, holding hands, and her pink tshirt :)

Vaselena.

2009-07-23T14:45:00.011-04:00

Васельіна (Vaselena) is fifteen years old, and to be brutally honest, I wasn't all that fond of her at first. I found her antics to be rather obnoxious, and thought that she was acting out on purpose due to a need for attention. I did not want to fan the fire (or as Gayla would say, "Don't feed the dray-gon...").

But think about that need - ALL of these girls are in desperate need of attention. I've said it several times before, that because of the way that the Internat is structured, negative attention is still attention. And negative attention is still better than recieving no attention whatsoever. So, let me reintroduce you to Vaselena.

At fifteen, Vaselena is grouped with the second class of girls. I have yet to see an angry or upset version of her, as she is always in the best of moods (sounds impossible, but it's true). She is an intense and energetic girl, and she is LOUD. Vaselena is easily excited, and the smallest things seem to thrill her - for example, painting her face, a hug, stickers, bubbles. Things that may seem insignificant to me are treasures to Vaselena.

Vaselena does not have an extensive vocabulary or particularly strong verbal skills, but she makes up for this by the wide variety of noises that she makes. She tends to be the first person that we hear when we arrive in the morning, and she gives us a royal welcome daily. The three of us thought that the girls would be used to us, maybe even bored of us by now. Nope. Every single morning, we hear a mix of crazy noises and see Vaselena bolting across the park, just about bowling us over with her hugs.

We were able to recognize Vaselena from the pictures taken by previous Beyond Borders alumni. She has a twinkle in her eyes that never disappears, and a smile that is too big for her face. Her blonde hair is buzzed short, and is all limbs - very tall and lanky. Obviously very mischievous, Vaselena also is incredibly affectionate ...to the point where it could be borderline inappropriate. I often scold her, trying to convince her to stop swatting my butt (I appreciate the flattery and all, but really, it's getting old) or to simply let me go.

Vaselena has so much energy, she doesn't seem to know what to do with it. It is a shame that there is not more organization or programming at the Internat, where this restlessness could be channeled positively and productively. We have initiated a few different ideas with Irena; the problem is working around The Director (side note: capitalized intentionally... he is very mysterious and also rumoured to be very corrupt. I feel as though I am introducing an evil character in a fairy tale, like Ursula the Sea Witch or the Wicked Step-Mother).

Lastly, Vaselena's favourite place appears to be the park on the Internat grounds. She seems happiest when she is outside, hanging upside down on monkey bars (or anything else, for that matter). She also loves using the swings (another important side note: swing time can be quite competitive - this will be discussed/explained in the future).

"just dance."

2009-07-23T10:31:00.005-04:00

On a lighter note (in comparison to the latest Інтернат news, at least) - we're still hoping to go ahead with our concert plans, to be held during the first week of August. As Lady Gaga would say, when times are tough, "Just dance, it'll be okay..."

As of this point, we haven't heard whether or not community visitors will be allowed to attend. But if worse comes to worse, it will be a great chance for the girls involved to dress up and perform for the staff [as well as the rest of the girls who are not necessarily participating].

I managed to get ahold of some footage of recent dance practices... the choreography is supposed to be top secret and all, but I'm posting a sneak peak for you since you may not be able to fly in to Ternopil for the big day. Enjoy!

Інтернат emergency.

2009-07-21T15:00:00.016-04:00

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While we were in Poland, Internat staff discovered that Marina, 23, is five months pregnant. We were told about this 'emergency situation' (their reference to Marina's pregnancy) once we returned to work last Wednesday. Thankfully Orest was with us that day, translating through the chaos... we would have been lost without him amid the confusion.

I'm sure some of you (most of you?) might be thinking, How does a girl get pregnant at an isolated, all girls orphanage?! I'll explain what I can, which isn't actually a whole lot. I encourage you folks at home to read Jessica's blog, as she has posted her reactions to this situation and explains it well.

There is an Internat for boys that occasionally partners with our girls' Internat. When these boys reach a certain age, they are 'graduated' or transferred to an old age home. The old age home that they move to happens to be around the corner from the Internat for girls. According to Bogdan, a certain young Casanova named Sascha frequently visits our girls. Sascha has had relationships with several girls; some of these relationships have also resulted in pregnancy. Yet these pregnancies were discovered early on, and were immediately 'taken care of' (read: terminated, aborted).

Bogdan has done his best to discourage Sascha from visiting the Internat. But as Sascha is bigger and stronger than Bogdan, he can easily intimidate him, usually pushing him around and by making other threats of violence. There is only so much that Bogdan can do. The staff of the Internat also need to be held accountable for ensuring a safe and secure environment for every one of the girls who call the Internat home.

In the past, all girls of a certain age were regularly checked for pregnancy on a monthly basis. As mentioned earlier, if a pregnancy was discovered, an abortion would immediately follow. Marina's pregnancy had not been 'discovered' as these monthly checks have not taken place for the last four months. Others noticed Marina's fuller figure as she worked in one of the gardens recently, and sure enough, Marina is approximately five months along. This is why Internat staff refer to the circumstances as 'The Emergency,' and girls over 12 were made to take pregnancy tests right away.

The Internat director has since sent Marina away, to an orphanage in a smaller village. We have been told that this other orphanage is worse off: the conditions are poorer, and the girls there have less resources/support then even our girls do. Marina left the Internat at some point over the weekend; the last day that we saw her was on Friday. Apparently, the director was also upset at how far along Marina's pregnancy is - for it is too late to abort, and he had suggested giving Marina some sort of drug that would kill the baby. (Again, I am just explaining the circumstances going on the limited information that we have been given.)

So, it was decided that the best 'solution' for 'The Emergency' was to dismiss Marina. We have also been told that she will have a C-section and will have her tubes tied (I apologize for not knowing the appropriate term here!). I am unsure as to whether they intend to schedule the C-section soon, assuming that the baby will not survive, or if they will allow Marina to carry the baby to term and then place the baby in yet another orphanage. Either way, Marina does not have a voice in the whole scenario, over her own body, her own child, or her own life.

This unexpected turn of events has led to a million questions, with very few (if any) answers. We are no longer allowed to take the girls into Ternopil for further excursions, we assume that this is to limit outside contact and to keep a tighter rein on the rest of the girls. We have instead held mini-excursions for small groups of girls within the Internat campus, to make up for the fact that we can no longer visit the city with them. At this point, we are not even sure if we will be allowed to invite our host families, friends, and other community members to the concert we are holding in August.

As Jessica writes on her blog, the three of us are completely, absolutely overwhelmed with this situation, how it has been handled, and the issues that are related.

We debated posting this story on our blogs, but I firmly believe that in order to improve conditions at the Internat we must shed as much light on the circumstances as possible. If we do not share their stories and experiences, they remain hidden and any future change is impossible. Awareness is something, a step forward, and is at least better than sweeping the ugly bits under a rug.

I hope that there is truth to what I said to Jess and Miri on Monday, "The more light that we can shed on the Internat, the more accountablity we hold them [director, staff, etc.] to."

the latest.

2009-07-20T17:57:00.010-04:00

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I know it's cliche and all, but the time in Ternopil has flown by. I honestly can't believe that in about three weeks, I'll be home again. Readjusting to Canadian life. Reuniting with friends and family. Eating pizza pockets again, and cereal, and spinach dip, and salt and vinegar chips... As much as I love Slava, I'm a little sick of omelettes.

Anyways -- I wanted to provide a reallyreallyreally brief update on Ukrainian life, an aside from the recent Internat profiles that I have posted. This week we have begun planning a concert with the girls, and we hope that we'll be allowed to bring in people from the community to watch the performance. We're hoping to make up an audience of our host families, tutors, university contacts, church family, and anyone else that we've managed to connect with over the last two and a half months.

Trying to organize the girls, maintain their attention (not to mention my own very short attention span!), and choreograph a dance definitely keeps us busy in addition to our regular Internat 'routine' (I use the word routine very, very loosely!). Tomorrow Gayla will be visiting again, accompanied by her friend Jill. Jill is a teacher visiting from the States, and will be here until the beginning of August. It's a relief knowing that there are people besides us who are consistently supporting the Internat; definitely a blessing.

Photo credit: Jessica Vorsteveld.

Before we left for Poland, a small celebration had been planned at the Internat by Bogdan. Bogdan is a grandfather figure to all of the girls, and has been a great resource and help for us. He provides keys to the auditorium, rigs up the stereo, takes the girls berry picking, and is generally a positive figure in their life. (Another blessing.) He also plays the accordion, and has recently been hooked on the Hokey Pokey (and makes me sing it constantly). Bogdan's party was a good time, a great midweek boost for the girls as well as ourselves.

Nastya.

2009-07-20T15:02:00.011-04:00

Настія (Nastya) is ten years old and is (surprisingly) grouped with the malankas. The thing is, she has clearly outgrown this age group as she is often babysitting the smallest ones (i.e., Olya, Irka). She spends the rest of her time trying to keep up with the second group of girls. The only reasoning I have seen for considering Nastya a 'malanka' is that she sleeps in the same bedroom. (The 'malanka' bedroom is the largest, and has ten beds in it. The rest of the bedrooms, which the older girls share, only have four beds.)

Nastya also functions at a much higher level in comparison to the other malankas. She does not have any obvious delays, disabilities, or handicaps that we know of. She has excellent communication skills (despite sometimes using her words to aggravate us with a snarky tone!). She is clearly very bright, but unfortunately, the Internat structure does not offer any formal education or any other outlet to channel this energy.

While Nastya doesn't fit with the malankas, she doesn't quite fit in yet with the second (read: next oldest) group of girls either. My guess is that this is because most of the girls in this class are between 11 and 13, and Nastya is a very 'young' ten. She's almost there, but not quite... as if she is hovering between the two groups until she figures out the best way to fit in with the others. She's just trying to keep up. I think this aawkwardness explains the split in her behaviours - often she acts out, sassily sticking out her tongue or mouthing off, generally obnoxious. The rest of the time she behaves more appropriately: happy, energetic (and especially eager to ham it up if she sees a camera). Like all of the girls, Nastya is in dire need of positive attention and someone to nurture her. And because of these circumstances, any attention - even if it is negative - is still considered better than recieving no attention at all.

Nastya is tough, maybe from being bounced around between age groups and not having a sense of security. She has an attitude. She is fiesty. She has become so much friendlier since our first few visits, and enjoys being involved in any sort of activity. Nastya especially loved the picture frame project that we did last week (craft supplies courtesy of my Auntie Cheryl back home, much thanks!).

Lecia.

2009-07-19T12:34:00.012-04:00

At age 26, Льесія (Lecia) is one of the eldest girls living at the Internat. She grouped in the seventh (read: oldest) class of girls and is quite independant. She displays a strong sense of responsibility as she completes routine tasks - which may involve supervising the 'malankas' at naptime, tidying up after lunch, or mopping the hallways.

Lecia made quite the impression on us during our first few visits, as she was one of the most enthusiastic dancers (and always sported her trademark green track suit). Her moods change quickly and drastically, as Lecia can go from upset to calm to mischievous within a span of ten minutes.

Lecia's verbal skills are minimal, but her communication skills are fairly strong considering. Through the combination of the words she does use, the sounds (and grunts) she makes, and her various facial expressions, we are usually able to understand whatever message Lecia is trying to convey. She also has a sly sense of humour, and despite our limited Ukrainian vocabularies, we have been able to joke together (Lecia usually shakes her finger at me when this takes place).

For the most part, Lecia seems to be content... especially if we give her a few moments of undivided attention. She roams the Internat hallways in her free time, and once followed us to the bus stop. Lecia will be 'eligible' to live at the Internat until she turns 35, due to recent changes in age policies.

Inessa.

2009-07-18T07:06:00.006-04:00

Інеса (Inessa) is 17 years old, yet looks as though she is only 11 or 12. We have been told that she is the only Jewish girl of the Internat. When we first met Inessa, two things were memorable about her:
1) her constantly runny nose (Miri dubbed it 'Niagara Falls'), and 2) her hyper-nervous actions. She seemed afraid of us no matter how we tried to reach out, no matter how we tried to connect.

Several weeks later, Inessa's nose is constantly runny. But now she allows us to clean her face. She is still extremely nervous, always pacing, always breathing heavily and rapidly, and always waving her hands. But now she will accept a hug, and begin to calm down when we rub her back. Overall, her actions are much less frantic. Best of all, we get to see her truly light up - her shy smile is absolutely huge. It has been amazing to see her slowly (but surely) become more and more comfortable with us.

Inessa seems to be grouped with the girls in the fourth classroom, although that is only my educated guess. She can often be found pacing the hallways of the Internat, and prefers to be on her own. She is non-verbal, and makes a few simple sounds which tend to accompany excitement.

A related anecdote: lately, Inessa has shown signs of an innocent crush on Orest, and stubbornly stays by his side on the days that he translates for us. Inessa will wait patiently outside a door if Orest disappears into a room - for more than an hour at a time. (It's kind of adorable to witness). Orest has a good rapport with her, and its further proof of how far Inessa has come out of her frightened shell since the early weeks of our work!

Zoreana.

2009-07-16T14:28:00.010-04:00

Зореяна (Zoreana) is seven years old, and has a few 'Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde' qualities. Some days she will be in a fantastic mood, eager to play with anyone and everyone. On other days she takes a turn for the worst - is snappy, mouthy, hitting people as well as spitting on them. With Zoreana, we never know what we're gonna get.

It took Zoreana a few days to warm up to us; initially she would not respond to anything we would say or do. She seemed to be oblivious to anything else going on around her, and would sit and stare into nothingness. By now, Zoreana's definitely come out of her shell (has she ever!) but can still be a bit of a space cadet, removing herself between activities and her own world.

She is also incredibly mischievous, often seeking attention. (Keep in mind that at the Internat, negative attention is still attention, and is better than being ignored.) Zoreana is grouped with the 'malankas', and more often than not seems to be bored. She is perceptive and smart, but is not stimulated or challenged. The lack of programming at the Internat means that the girls do not have consistent opportunities for growth and/or skill development.

100 words or less: Krakow edition.

2009-07-15T16:54:00.007-04:00

Trains. Tylenol. Trams. Tourists. Toast (lots of toast). Hocus Pocus Hostel. Unlimited coffee. Nutella. A tram party. Rynek Glowny. Auschwitz-Birkenau. Haunting. History. Florianska Gate. Flamethrowers. Wieliczka (salt mines). Wawel Castle. Walking tours. Kazimierz. Kebabs. Mmm... Kebabs. And panini. And pretzels. Pizza at midnight (the best kind). Exploration. Cloth Hall. Main Market Square. Dancing. Nightlife. Cafes. Architecture. Adventures (so many adventures!). Fellow Canucks. Speed limit debates. Sunday markets. Hostel friendships. Golonka. Nuns. Tons of nuns! Nowa Huta. Buses. Borders. Hours and hours, happily wandering. Wanderlust.

just a few photos.

2009-07-14T12:50:00.006-04:00

good morning, Krakow!

2009-07-10T04:37:00.003-04:00

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A quick post from POLSKA...

We - the three musketeers, Jessica, Miri, and myself - are currently exploring Krakow, Poland. We managed to take a few days off from our work at the orphanage, and this journey has already proved to be an all around great 'boost' from our routines in Ternopil. A chance to clear our heads, relax, explore, and escape for just a few days is bliss.

Last night we wandered around the main market square, enjoying the street theatre festival and all the characters out and about. One of my favourite things about Krakow this far is the aromas floating out from the little pastry shops that are absolutely everywhere... I have yet to cave in, I'm sure that before today is up I'll cave and snack on delicious Polish donuts.
Today will be spent wandering around the city, and tomorrow we have booked tours to the salt mines as well as Auschwitz-Birkenau. Sunday's plan involves free museums and the Wawel Castle, and we hope to return to Ternopil at some point on Monday.

To say that I have been bitten by the travel bug is an understatement... God's handiwork is found in every nook and cranny, in every new city, in every new acquaintance. Life is beautiful, breathe it in.

Mmm... Wanderlust!

Irka.

2009-07-07T14:00:00.008-04:00

Іра (Ira) is the truly the littlest girl at the Internat. According to the records, she is five years old; initially, we had been told that she was only four. The three of us all know her by a different variation of her given name Irena. I know her as Irka, Jessica knows her as Irenka, and Miri may refer to her as Ira. [Side note: for simplicity's sake, as well as the fact that there are several Ira's at the Internat, I'll refer to her as 'Irka' here.]

As the youngest (the baby of even the 'malankas'), Irka is rarely short of attention. A few of the older girls look out for Irka. Ira (15 years old, and one of several Ira's!) often watches her in the malanka room. One of the Yulia's has been playing with her lately at the park (they both love the swings). Nastya is either holding her or scolding her, and I've also seen Alina (aka the infamous 'Alina-Boss') calm Irka down at nap time. Today, some of the girls had even placed her into a crib for their dolls (see? never short of attention!).

Irka is non-verbal, but not at all quiet. She has quite the growl, and it is surprisingly loud, given her petite size. Watch out world, when Irka is frustrated! She's definitely not shy about sharing her emotions. When she is upset, she crosses her legs and then puts her face down to the ground. She tends to rock herself (and growl) at the same time.

Always on the go, Irka is spunky and can be aggressive. She is affectionate, and I'm no stranger to her slobbery 'kisses' - she opens her mouth and digs her chin into my face (or leg, or arm... whatever is closest at the time). This is accompanied by her little fist twisting my nose off, so that I can no longer breathe well enough to wrestle her away.

Janna.

2009-07-04T15:45:00.006-04:00

Джанна (Janna) is 22 years old - the same age as me. More of a peer than a child! As she is in her twenties, she is one of the oldest (or is it eldest?) girls at the Internat.

[Another side note: while going through the records on Thursday, Luba explained that the girls are now able to stay at the Internat until they are 35 years of age. This is a fairly recent amendment to the old procedures; in the past, girls were only able to live there until the age of 25. This policy change took place in 2007 - so all of the girls are still 25 or younger, but have future security and care for at least a few more years. However - back to Janna.]

Janna is very trusting and soft spoken, a sweetheart. She tends to appear out of nowhere - she must have a sixth sense for when we are about to start an activity because she is always ready to involve herself, it doesn't really matter what we happen to be doing. Despite her relatively quiet personality, she has been so open to us and is friendly and patient, with us and with the rest of the girls.

This past week, Janna and I were able to spend a bit more time together preparing the strawberries on Canada Day. She followed me back into the building, and understood my request for some sort of container for the berries. She was SO eager and excited, she ran to the kitchen and ran back, berry-bowl in hand. She gathered Lesah and Yulia (note - not the Yulia previously introduced to you... there are quite a few Yulias living at the Internat!) to help. Within minutes, we had a great little production line going, mostly due to Janna's enthusiasm for the task. In no time at all, we were back outside distributing juicy strawberries to the whole gang.

Janna does not demand or seek out our attention, and displays a calm, gentle nature with everyone. She is content to be in the background, soaking it all in. Her enthusiasm this past week made a simple task a fun experience. I'm sure there will be more of these experiences over the remaining weeks.

Yulia.

2009-07-03T16:25:00.005-04:00

Уюлія (Yulia) is ten years old, and is in the second youngest group of girls. [Side note: the girls are usually grouped by age/size/ability into different classrooms, but the 'malankas' are really the only group with a name.]

Yulia is difficult to describe, because it is so hard to get close to her. She is non-verbal, but does make a variety of noises. She is always by herself, and it seems as though she prefers her own company to anyone elses. Maybe this allows her some form of escape.

Every day, Yulia can be found sitting on a small chair in the corner of her classroom, alone. The other girls in her classroom give her space to do as she wishes, which is generally to sit in peace. I greet her and ask how she is doing (ie, 'Priveet, yak sprahvay?') and am patiently waiting to garner a response from her. She may be stubborn, but so am I! Most days she doesn't even glance in our general direction when we come through the door.

Yulia finds comfort by rocking herself, and this is a common practice for many of the girls - especially the girls who are unable to communicate well or do not really enjoy the company of others. I make her angry when I am near her for too long, and she especially hated my camera (I had a bunch of shots of her hand, swatting me away). Because Yulia distances herself from everyone, it is tough to coax her into participating in most of our activities. Maybe, just maybe, over time she'll warm up to us. I don't want to invade her space, but want to reach out to her in some small way.

a reality check.

2009-07-02T15:08:00.013-04:00

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This morning we had the opportunity to go through the files of each girl at the Internat, through the help of Luba (staff) and Orest (translation allstar). Personally, I had been surprised when Irena (supervisor) gave us permission to access these documents - girls who have spent time at the Internat in past summers did not seem to have a lot of background information on any of the girls.

These beautiful, beautiful kids have arrived at the Internat through a wide variety of heartbreaking circumstances. Compiling records on nearly seventy girls, and finding out how they individually arrived at the Internat was a huge task. Again and again, Orest would translate stories of dysfunction and brokenness, of pain and loss.

"Her parents are dead."
"Her mother is mentally ill."
"Their mother was in prison, and their father is dead."
"The custody rights of her parents were taken away by the authorities."
"Both of her parents are alcoholics."
"Her fathers whereabouts are unknown."
"Her parents were junkies."
"Her mother abandoned her when she was born; the abortion had been unsuccessful."

I don't think that I can comprehend these realities just yet. There hasn't been time to process what each girl has been through, how they have been affected by things far beyond their control. Maybe it isn't real to me right now. Maybe it won't even really hit me until I'm home. There is so much more that I'd like to say and express about this experience, I hope in time I'll find the right words.

oh, Canada!

2009-07-01T16:21:00.011-04:00

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Appropriately enough, our second Internat 'theme day' celebrated all things Canadian. We incorporated as much red and white as possible into our activities - Miri brought fresh strawberries from the bazaar (because they are red, therefore festive), and enough make up supplies to paint maple leafs (maple leaves?!) on the girls' faces and to do some festive manicures. We also had a few small flags, and obviously we each wore red and white (this was done without any organization, by the way... we're proud of ourselves).

Orest, Miri's host brother and our translator, also visited the Internat today. He made his first appearance yesterday, and all the girls adore him (not much testosterone around these parts, eh!). He helped us with our Canadian festivities today, and we definitely appreciate having him around.

summer in the city.

2009-06-30T15:17:00.005-04:00

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A handful of photos from our second excursion with the girls.

Anya.

2009-06-29T11:19:00.008-04:00

Ання (Anya) is seven years old. She is grouped with the 'malankas', like several other girls I have introduced you to this far. She is not, however, as tiny as Olya, Nadya, or Znyjana. My guesstimate is that she is more than four feet tall (mind you, I don't have my dads gift of accurate estimation. I won't be following in his footsteps as a framer, I'll leave that to my brothers). Anya has big, brown eyes that are always laughing, and she is very affectionate. She loves to touch, grab, hug, and kiss. Anya also enjoys biting me, which is really not as violent as it sounds. Her mouth is usually wide open in a look of excitement, sometimes sharing her saliva with the rest of us :) (And for the record, I'm comfortable with slobber, boogers, and various other bodily fluids now. I like to think of it as bonding.)

Anya has limited motor skills. One of the older girls, Marina, usually aids Anya with movement. She supports Anya as she begins to walk, guiding her by the arm. Thanks to Marina's help, Anya is able to spend time at the Internat park with most of the other girls, and is also starting to take steps on her own. Marina will walk ahead of Anya, and keep moving backwards as Anya shakily inches forward. Gradually the distance between Marina and Anya grows, and occasionally is encouraged by onlookers. I admire the patience and gentleness that Marina displays with Anya!

Anya also lacks language skills. She makes loud, happy noises and I interpret them as signs of contentment. She loves naptime, finds comfort in sucking her thumb (as shown), and shows affection to everyone (especially Marina!). Like Znyjana, I have yet to see Anya in a less than positive mood. She is a hard worker, I can see this as she is beginning to learn basic movement skills.

Znyjana.

2009-06-28T04:31:00.004-04:00

Like Olya and Nadya, Зніжана (Znyjana) is another 'malanka.' And like Olya and Nadya, Znyjana is absolutely tiny! She is six years old, and is almost always a happy little camper. I haven't witnessed her in a bad mood at any point in the last few weeks. She is content to play by herself but at the same time is very social, and is easily entertained. She also loves being outside, and also loves climbing all over Miri, Jessica, and myself (we are becoming regular jungle gyms).

Znyjana has a small vocabulary, so she is more communicative than some of the other malankas. When we arrive, she usually says "Upah! Upah!" in hopes that we will pick her up, and/or tickle her. She tends to repeat what I say, so I tell her that she is "harna, harna" (pretty, pretty!). Another favourite phrase of Znyjana's is "Ni, ni, ni." Meaning "no, no, no." She has a bit of a mischievous side to her. When I notice that twinkle in her eye, "Ni, ni, ni" are usually the next words out of my mouth, and are then echoed by Znyjana.

Nadya.

2009-06-25T12:51:00.007-04:00

Надія (Nadya) is also considered one of the malankas (like Olya, below). She is six years old, and, like Olya, looks much younger than her actual age because of her extremely small size. Nadya prefers to play by herself, and often ignores people (staff, the older girls, as well as Miri, Jessica, and myself) who try to communicate with her. She seems to be non-verbal - although I could be wrong, I might not have been around to hear her. She occasionally laughs, and when she does, she's all smiles. Those big toothy grins are rare but beautiful!

Nadya is independent, and is often fascinated by the tiniest objects that are usually overlooked. Some examples are string, scraps of paper, or what parts are left of a broken toy. The picture above displays this! She seems to be happiest when she is outside playing at the Internat park, or when one of the older girls swings her upside down. Maybe we will be able to coax Nadya out of her shell a bit by the end of the summer.

Luba.

2009-06-24T15:18:00.006-04:00

Луба (Luba) is one of the most infamous girls at the Internat. Based on what I had already heard from alum Valerie and Sarah while still in Waterloo, I knew she'd be giving us a run for our money. In the past she had a reputation for being quite violent with the other girls, as well as the volunteers - Sarah had been bitten by Luba more than once.

Luba is 17 years old, and we never know what to expect from her - some days she is nearly manic, wildly trying to catch our attention. This may involve a dramatic scene on the balcony, in full view while we take a minute to eat our lunches in the courtyard, or fighting with someone for using her markers. Yet other days I have been pleasantly surprised after spending an hour or so quietly drawing together (no language barrier there!). Yesterday we sat together when Gayla visited, singing along to an old praise and worship video made for kids, totally relaxed. To say the least, my 'Luba experiences' are lessons in patience.

As I am getting to know Luba, I guess I'm expecting the unexpected. Frankly, some days she drives us nuts and we are unsure how much attention we should be giving her. Other days we may not see her, and still others she will greet us with hugs, beaming and excited. She is a talented artist, she could dance for hours, and has brute strength like no other (push ups happen to be another interest of Luba's). She is expressive, and moody, and rough. She can amaze us with her energy but also worry us with her temper. Luba, like the rest of us, is a complex work in progress.

Olya.

2009-06-23T15:28:00.009-04:00

Оля (Olya) is considered one of the 'Маланкий' (malankas), which is the youngest organized group of girls at the Internat. Personally, I was shocked when I learned how old this 'malanka' (Ukrainian term for little, or baby) is - she is nine years old!

She has koala like characteristics; she is strong (despite being oh so tiny) and can literally "climb" me like a tree. Given this routine, I often refer to her as my little koala.

Olya is non-verbal, and has an adorable laugh. Olya loves tickling, blowing kisses, flapping her arms, and eating absolutely ANYTHING (recent snacks have included grass, crumbs, flowers, paper, dirt, pieces of garbage).

spoiler alert.

2009-06-23T14:51:00.010-04:00

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A heads up for you: over the next two months or so, I am going to try my very hardest to provide you with an accurate look at what we are doing at the Internat. In particular, who we are building relationships with --- the gang of girls who are providing us with joy, with frustrations, with laughter, and with tears.

Back in Waterloo, I had many conversations with Ruby that were both insightful and inspiring. Thanks to her advice, my head was (and still usually is) bursting with ideas. One such idea was to provide the girls of the Internat with a voice - something which they've never really had. I am hoping to tell their stories, as best I can and to introduce them to the world (even if that world is only made up of curious family and friends back in Canada, it is still a world outside of the Internat walls).

Up until this point, it has been difficult to gather any definite information about any one of the girls. As Jessica has recently explained, the three of us may know the same girl by three different names. Many of the girls are non-verbal, others have little to no communication skills. And then there is the whole language barrier to think about. Plus - each girl has arrived at the Internat under unique circumstances. Some have been there less than a year, while others have been there as long as they can remember - the Internat is their whole world.

Yet after a meeting last week with Irena, the general supervisor (...or, as Miri says, the house matron) we found out (through our translater, Orest) that there are existing records and documentation of each of the girls, which we are surprisingly welcome to go through. This is a pretty big deal - and will hopefully provide us with some answers to our endless questions. Starting next week, Orest will be joining us at the Internat to help us translate the records.

In the meantime - I will post what I can. Bear with me. And fall in love with these precious, awesome, crazy kids.

borsch for breakfast... and other dining misadventures.

2009-06-22T11:22:00.012-04:00

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I am not an adventurous eater.
If you know me at all, it is probably something you've noticed at some point. It is unlikely that I'll ever give up staples such as French fries or chocolate, or stop eating cereal for supper.
Before I left for the Ukraine, my dear mother would often question me, possibly exasperated at my bad habits. "Jennifer, what on earth are you going to eat when you're there?!" To which I would say, "Whatever they give me," and shrug. The Ukrainian diet was the least of my worries as I prepared.

I once heard someone say that Ukrainian women are born to feed people. And whether or not that is legit, my host баба (grandma) Slava is one excellent example of this myth. From day one, Slava has been offering me food constantly... first thing in the morning: "Jenny! Yiste!" right up until bedtime, when tea is prepared and snacks are laid out. Back in May, my first meal with Slava, Ihor (her son), and Iryna (her daughter in law) was an overwhelming smorgasboard of strange new flavours - борщ (borsch), варенуку (varenyky), and mysterious forms of meat (a combination of pork and beef? I keep telling myself it's just chicken) among several other dishes.

I always know what will be served for breakfast - my morning routine consists of an omelette (I've eaten approximately 42 omelettes here in Ukraine) and a wee cup of coffee (I'm getting an extra large coffee at the first Tim Horton's I see in August! Ukrainians are not big on caffeine). Lunch is typically sandwiches, or Канапкий, made by the Slavster. And dinner, well, dinner is almost always a surprise.It may be any combination of salad (with a healthy coat of vegetable oil? plus salt), veggies (often fresh from the dacha), borsch, a form of potato, and possibly holubtsi and/or varenyky. This is all accompanied by a side dish of sour cream - Сметана!

Even eating chips here has been an edible adventure - I assumed that the blue and green bag with the picture of the octopus on it would be salt and vinegar flavoured, based on the very nautical packaging. Nooooooope. They were calamari chips. Don't think they've made their way to Canada yet, nor have my flavour of the week -- sour cream and cheese. Deeeelicious.

One last yummy anecdote: I was able to sleep in gloriously late this past Saturday. I will not even say what time I awoke, because my parents - especially my dad - would be apalled. All I can say is that it was afternoon. (Side note: I am really good at sleeping.) Anyways, Slava was in the kitchen, pointing out the time of day and giving me a Ukrainian lecture. I know that I was not in trouble because she was laughing. However, to my great disappointment, it turns out it was far too late in the day for an omelette or even some coffee - Slava only makes coffee in the am? Unsure.
Anyways, out comes a heaping bowl of borsch - beets, beets, and moooooooore beets. As well as holubtsi (made of cabbage and other delightful veggies... Mom! I eat cabbage now!) and potatoes and sandwiches to boot. The breakfast of champions. As delicious as this meal was, I don't think I fully enjoyed it because mentally, I just couldn't consider these dishes breakfast-appropriate. Silly, I know. I learned my lesson. I will not be sleeping that late ever again... while under Slava's roof, at least. I value my routine breakfast of omelettes and coffee (precious coffee) far too much.

Па Па, fellow Canadians.

2009-06-20T08:21:00.006-04:00

Checking in to simply say farewell to the gang from Saskatchewan and that guy from Calgary.
From that first sleepy bus ride departing Lviv; to our lunches in the nook, praying for French fries; wandering through Ternopil's centre; our regular walks through the парк - it's been nice to get to know you all and even better to have the company of fellow Canucks in this foreign land.
All the best, safe travels as you head home --- you best be keeping in touch. Па Па!

a blessing named Gayla.

2009-06-16T15:38:00.005-04:00

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Today seemed like any other Tuesday in Ternopil - started my day with Slava knocking on my door ("Jennyyyyy... yiste!"), had an omelette and Кава for brekky, caught the #19 with Jessica around 9, at the Інтернат by 10. My morning with the girls involved a rousing game of Monkey in the Middle, some soccer, a lot more dancing (much to Tamara's delight), cuddling the маланка's, and drawing... Miri and I were in a classroom with a few of the older girls, colouring to our hearts' content, wondering what had happened to our third musketeer.

Jess finally found us after spending some time outside in the courtyard with an American missionary named Gayla and her Ukrainian translater, Lena. Gayla and her husband have been living in Ternopil for the past thirteen years, and most Tuesdays, Gayla and Lena come to visit the girls of the Інтернат. Gayla has been teaching the girls songs, telling them the stories of Jesus, and simply loving them - slowly but surely breaking down their tough exteriors over the past few years.
It was awesome to get to know Gayla this morning, as she is a wealth of information. She knows the stories of individual girls, of how they ended up living here. She knows how to work around the director, to ensure that funds and supplies are beneficial to the girls - not his bank account. And she knows that each girl is of incredible worth, despite the strong social stigma that exists throughout Ukrainian society. She is a sassy woman, matter of fact and clearly full of devotion to her faith. I'm looking forward to her Tuesday visits, and am thrilled to know that we are not the only regular visitors that these girls see.

Carpathian recap.

2009-06-14T15:14:00.006-04:00

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A week ago, Jessica and I found ourselves stuck in a mini bus with two Ukrainian teachers; a gaggle of loud, sweaty teenagers - one of whom had motion sickness; without any fresh air or any idea as to how long our journey would be. And without any clue as to what we were getting ourselves into!

It took us roughly four hours to drive from Ternopil to a small village in the Carpathian Mountains. We were welcomed by beautiful, lush scenery, quaint cottages plus a tethered mountain goat who later made quite the impression on me. Click the link, Jessica tells the story well. We explored the riverbank behind our cottage before climbing a miniature mountain that afternoon - approximately 900m or so. Zig zagging our way to the top, we admired the colourful homes found along the trails and the incredible views.

Exhausted, we thought our trek downward would be simple... but no. Instead, our guide led us through the forest, explaining the legend of Oleska Dovbush. Apparently, he was the live Ukrainian version of Robin Hood. He and his merry men robbed the wealthiest Carpathians and distributed the goods to their poor countrymen, often hiding out in the forests and caves of the area. Until, unfortunately, he was betrayed by a sly woman and executed - his body parts on display throughout area villages to serve as an example. What a badass.

Exploring caves and roasting delicious food was also on the agenda of our first Carpathian day. We woke early the next morning (Tuesday) and boarded the mini bus, on our way to the Карпатський Аціональний Рииодрий Парк, otherwise known as the Carpathian National Nature Park. Home of the mighty Mount Hoverla, Ukraine's highest peak of 2,061m.

Our Hoverla guide had much more pizazz and personality than our guide the day before, making the steep hike up the mountain that much more enjoyable. We also had the chance to get to know the posse of teens much better - turns out they were excited to practice their English, and were full of questions about Canada. Guess my first impression of them was quite wrong, and they continued to surprise and charm Jess and I throughout the rest of our time together.

Climbing Hoverla has been one of my favourite experiences of the past few weeks - it is incredibly hard to describe just how small and insignificant I felt as I worked my way up the mountain. Completely in awe of my surroundings and Creation in general, I sang to myself as I plugged on up the last stretch... loving life, one hundred percent. We celebrated by building an inukshuk, leaving a little bit of Canada at the top of the world.

The rest of our Carpathian adventure was spent around the campfire, drinking and toasting some mighty strong "Carpathian wine" with students and teachers alike (note - it is disgusting), visiting Bukovel (potential site of the 2018 Winter Olympics... right on), and exploring the waterfalls and Hutsul markets of Yaremche. All in all, an awesome three days spent exploring with new Ukrainian friends.

from the top of Mt. Hoverla...

2009-06-13T05:55:00.004-04:00

The view from the top of the world - or at least 2,061m.
An incredibly beautiful day spent in the heart of the Carpathian Mountains.

one month down...

2009-06-12T09:19:00.012-04:00

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It seems as though I have spent more than just one month here in Ternopil. I have a general grasp of the language - at least, I'm becoming a great little actress... I can sure pretend that I understand most conversations directed at me! I've gotten familiar with the transportation system - schedules are clearly overrated, and my sense of direction has improved. Slava's antics keep me entertained each day - my favourites are her aerobic routines and the "Richku" song (or is it an advertisement?!) that is always on the radio.
And, not surprisingly, I am already brainstorming ways to sneak a child or two into my suitcase home... the girls of the Internat definitely tire us out - maybe even drive us crazy - each and every day, but they are all worming their way into my heart at the same time. I think the growing attachment is inevitable, and leaving this rag tag group of beautiful kids will obviously be difficult. The words "be fully present" were often used in preparation for this journey [see past blog entries, you'll know what I mean], and are words to live by each day - take it as it comes and enjoy it while it lasts.

Miri, Jessica, and I spent some time together this morning listing questions to ask Irena (a supervisor at the Internat) and throwing out a variety of ideas. Definitely a successful brainstorming session, another step taken towards defining our Internat plans. The three of us have distinctly different talents and abilities (not to mention personalities!), and I know that we are all capable of accomplishing whatever goals we set for the weeks ahead - if we remain flexible and maintain a sense of humour. As we plan, we're going to have to live by the words of Ms. Frizzle herself, "Take chances, make mistakes!" (...Magic Schoolbus, anyone?!) ...We've got to start somewhere.

a very brief update, in 200 words or less.

2009-06-10T16:07:00.007-04:00

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Finishing classes at THNPU and starting full time work at the Internat has meant a drastic change in my Ukrainian routines. To say that our first week of work at the Internat has been overwhelming is an understatement - we are still learning the names, ages, and abilities of each girl, in addition to brainstorming what sort of activities or programming will make the best possible use of our time there.

In addition to introductions at the Internat, Jessica, Miri and I have been busy exploring Ukraine. We spent Saturday in Lviv with the rest of the Canadian students and professors Laryssa and Igor. We climbed to the highest peak above the city (400+ feet above sea level), explored the armoury, wandered through outdoor markets (my personal favourite), had a taste of home - McDonald's, and admired the view from the top of a bell tower.

On Sunday, I found myself at an обід feast with Slava and her family, participating in a Ukrainian festival that I have yet to figure out... involving reeds, branches, and an enormous assortment of food and гарілка! Delicious.

Jessica and I were able to visit the Carpathian Mountains over the past three days with Slava's granddaughter, Irynka (Ira). We climbed two mountains - over 3,000 feet! A whole new sense of admiration of God's handiwork from the top of Mt. Hoverla - absolutely stunning.

[Pictures and a much better description of recent events to be posted in the next few days... ]

look who's in Ternopil!

2009-06-05T11:53:00.006-04:00

Visitors?! In Ternopil?!
That's right... SJU's own Scott Kline and his wonderful wife ( Жінка ) Megan are currently exploring Ukraine en route to Germany.

Miri, Jessica and I were able to meet them at THNPU this morning for lunch (обід). Scott and Megan met with university staff before continuing on to the Internat for the afternoon. We were able to give them a tour and introduce them to our girls, who were (of course) thrilled by the new faces!

sickness and health.

2009-06-04T06:45:00.010-04:00

-
My fourth day at the Internat has been unsuccessful... as I have yet to leave Slava's apartment yet today. My time with the girls was cut short yesterday, as I dashed back and forth between the bathroom and the classroom. Not good.
Miri took one look at my pale face and ushered me outside for a breath of fresh air. We decided to pack it in early, and I would head home to rest. I actually think that I had spent more time navigating the Ternopil bus system yesterday than I did at the Internat, which is unfortunate, but just another bump in the road.

Jessica has been ill as well, and my assumption is that I caught a bug from her...? Not really a big deal. Unless it was all the varenyky I polished off the night before! (I hope not - because I'm counting on eating varenyky regularly until I leave Ukraine!)

Whereever this bug came from, I'm kicking it back to the curb - deciding that it was best to stay home from the Internat today, take some meds and sleep it off. This minor setback may have been a blessing in disguise for my sprained ankle as well - to have some quality r&r rather than spending another day trekking all over Ternopil by foot.

Explaining my early exit from the Internat to Slava yesterday was challenging, and she spent a lot of time questioning and fussing over me before I could convince her that sleep would be beneficial. Thankfully Ira (granddaughter, not daughter-in-law... confusing to have two Ira's in the family) has been visiting, once again acting as our trusty translator. I have a feeling there will be some chicken noodle soup on tonight's menu (I have overheard the term "kyrko" more than once... meaning chicken), knowing Slava and how well she has taken care of me in the last month.

Я Говорю по-Українськи Мова.

2009-06-02T15:16:00.004-04:00

Here's a quick peek at what I have been studying over the last three weeks... the Українськи Мова, aka the Ukrainian language. I am adding a few words to my Ukrainian vocabulary each day - slooooowly but surely.

still overwhelmed.

2009-06-01T14:40:00.007-04:00

-
Though Jessica and I have been able to visit the Internat twice while taking classes at THNPU, today was our first official day of work. It was also Miri's first Internat visit as well (tomorrow already marks her one week anniversary in Ukraine!). I can only speak for myself, but I am fairly certain that both Jess and Miri are feeling what I'm feeling right now - multiple conflicting emotions, especially the overwhelming sort.

The three of us met at THNPU, as it is a fairly central location from our host families. Oksana Pysarchuk (our former tutor and an overall delightful girl!) was able to tag along for an hour or so - this is always appreciated as her ability to translate comes in kinda handy... We could hear various sounds of laughter, yelling, and crying as we came around the back corner of the Internat - I turn to Miri and say, "Welcome to chaos." Within minutes, all four of us had been swarmed once again by girls of all ages. I was led to a bench, with girls literally all over me - two on my lap, one on each arm, another climbing up behind me. On the other side of the courtyard, the same scenario was unfolding for both Jess and Miri while Oksana was talking with staff.

The girls were called inside to eat lunch (обід) at 1, which gave us a small window of time to take everything in - nice to relax for a minute or two, at least! We talked with a young girl named Улана (Oolana), who lives nearby. She spends a lot of time at the Internat, playing with the girls, and was a huge help to us today in terms of communication and explanations. Hopefully we will be seeing her often. After their lunch, most of the girls head to their rooms to sleep. We spent the rest of the afternoon outside at the Internat park with some of the older girls, playing volleyball, and dancing - Луба (Luba) was an especially impressive interpretive dancer.

We left to catch our bus back into Ternopil around 3, our heads spinning. The three of us (Oksana had left earlier for class) feel that this week will be quite low key, as we'll familiarize ourself with all of the girls and their needs, as well as the staff and the facilities... Hoping to get a better idea of what the girls need most and how we can best serve them in the weeks ahead.

seeing as I have a final tomorrow... I'm posting.

2009-05-28T13:28:00.012-04:00

-
I have just one day left as a student at THNPU. All that is left of my life as a Ukrainian university student is our final exam tomorrow morning, which is made up of a two hour written test as well as an oral interview with our professor Laryssa. Obviously, I should be cramming for this. Which is why I felt the need to update my blog... as always, I would rather do anything but study.

Consider this just a brief update on the past few days:

Saturday
- a day trip to Кам Янець Подільский (Kamyanets Podilsky) I posted a few photos the other day, but they hardly do the scenery any justice.

Monday
- Class until 11:30, and spent my afternoon between a doctor's office and a Ukrainian hospital. I had hurt my ankle last week and kept walking on it... didn't think that it was anything to worry about. Turns out it was sprained. (This, of course, is the edited version of a much longer story! Which may or may not be posted later...)

Tuesday
- Took the train from Ternopil to Lviv to meet Miri, another student from UW who will be working with Jessica and I at the Internat until August.

Wednesday
- An average day at the універсітат - classes, another test, tutorials, and another hour of Пусанка! Afterwards Alison and I bought bus tickets for our upcoming excursion to Івано-Франківськ (Ivano-Frankivsk).

Thursday
- Laryssa prepped us for our final tomorrow... I'm nervous...! Ira and I took the bus downtown to check in with the doctor who had assessed my ankle on Monday. I came home and had a gloriously long nap, ate dinner, and had a surprise call from my mom (Slava's reaction was priceless). Jessica just walked in the door, I'm assuming she is here to make me study for tomorrow... or at least procrastinate with me.

Thanks for reading! *

remember my purple пусанка fingers?!

2009-05-27T14:40:00.001-04:00

look closely!

Кам'Янець Подількийю

2009-05-24T12:31:00.008-04:00

overwhelmed, to say the least.

2009-05-21T15:50:00.006-04:00

Truthfully, I should not be posting anything right now - I should be studying for my Ukrainian test tomorrow morning. But since I'm being truthful and all, I'll admit that I am having an incredibly difficult time focusing on vocabulary and verb conjugation. My head is still spinning, in a variety of ways, from our first Internat experience.

Jessica and I boarded the bus to a small village just outside of Ternopil. Our tutor Oksana (an amazing help!) accompanied us, acting as a translator/mediator between the two of us, Irina (the fourth or fifth Irina that I have met in my two weeks in Ukraine!), and the girls who swarmed around us constantly.

Several girls immediately latched onto the two of us, before we even walked into the courtyard. As we were given an introductory tour, both Jess and I had at least one girl holding our hand or clinging onto one of our arms the entire time. We will be returning tomorrow morning (after we write our tests) for a 'concertka' that they are hosting. We have one final week left of classes at THNPU and will be working at the Internat daily beginning in June.

a closer look at... the facilities.

2009-05-18T13:05:00.009-04:00

Here is a quick "life lesson" for you today... It is amazing what kind of conditions you are able to adapt to in a rather short amount of time. As you can see here, these are the restroom facilities that we visit on a daily basis at the 'universitat.' The toilets on campus are merely holes in the floor.
After being initially grossed out... we dealt with it. I was impressed with our ability to suck it up (and squat! ha ha).

Український!

2009-05-15T18:21:00.005-04:00

purple писанка fingers.

2009-05-15T05:43:00.004-04:00

Our hosts at the 'universitat' have been amazingly gracious thus far, going above and beyond in order for us Canadians to fully experience everything that Ukrainian culture has to offer.
The generousity of our host families is obviously communicated (especially through FOOD!), our tutors have made learning a foreign alphabet and new language much easier, and each afternoon, activities are arranged for us once tutorials are completed.
So far, our afternoon activities have included Monday's boat ride and initial tour of the city, Tuesday's aerobics class and physical training (it was bizarre, hilarious, and grueling), Wednesday's pysanka - писанка - instructions, and Thursday's "mystery" concert (of which I will post pictures and video clips later... if I have the patience to load them!).

писанка (pysanka) is a Ukrainian tradition of painting eggs with beeswax, and there are distinctive traditions within each of the regions ('oblasts') throughout Ukraine. On Wednesday afternoon, a local pysanky artist (pysankist?!) came to the universitat to explain and teach us about this craft. I was fascinated by the deeper meanings behind the colourful designs, and am looking forward to this form of arts&crafts each Wednesday this month.

The process of drawing on eggs is extremely delicate, done with beeswax using a bobby pin or other small surface... very time consuming. I don't usually enjoy things that will consume large amounts of my time; I have a tendency to buzz about and accomplish a few different things at once, probably in an order that would not seem logical to anyone else but me.

So - in this typical 'Jen' fashion - I thought it would be much more 'efficient' (read:faster) if I used my finger in aiding the spoon to scoop my little egg out of the jar of dye. Key word there being DYE. It just so happened to be the purple pysanka dye, the darkest of all the dyes. I dyed my pointer finger писанка purple!

Our pysanka instructor thought I was ridiculous... she kept asking me questions (probably along the lines of, 'What were you thinking, you impatient little Canadian?!') but eventually gave up, laughing. I'll just have to slow it down next week and take my sweet time... 'patience is a virtue.'
(Note: Slava also laughed at me. But then she pulled out these magical lemon ('lay-mohn') salts, scrubbing my hands, and all that is still left of the purple pysanka dye is along the edges of my fingernail.) Also, Jessica had her camera... when I'm able, I'll add pictures of our писанка creations as well as my dyed finger.
PaPa! (bye)

nazarycik.

2009-05-14T11:47:00.003-04:00

late 'nich' adventures with Slava.

2009-05-13T06:24:00.010-04:00

Slava has a sister.
And her sister (I have yet to learn and/or remember her name yet! Terrible, I know... but in my defense, I have had an awful lot to learn in the last four days!) has a grandson, Nazarycik.
Nazarycik has a love for the telephone, and Slava usually gets a call from Nazary (nickname) once or twice a day. She has put me on the phone with him a few times, especially since our eventful afternoon of soccer and my 'tato,' Mr. Rogers. Last night (8:30ish?), she gave me the phone with Nazary excitedly questioning me. Slava then got out our trusty Ukrainian/English dictionary, pointing to a question: 'I would like to extend to you an invitation to my home.'
Laughing, I say "Nich?" (Nich = night). Slava is taking off her apron by this point, putting on her sweater, ready to head out the door. I say "Pa pa" (bye bye) to Nazary... we are off for a visit. Igor (pronounced 'Eehorr') picks us up near the bus stop and off we go, ready to enjoy an evening of fine company.

By the time we get to Nazary's apartment, it is about 9:00. Slava's sister has been cooking (Ukrainians are ALWAYS cooking!) and Ollah, Nazary's mother, has just gotten home from work by the looks of it. Nazary greets me with a handshake, a hug, and broken English - "Hallll ooohhhh Jenneeeeeee furrrrah!" Meanwhile his Grandmother (for simplicity's sake, I'm going to refer to her as 'Babushha' until I discover her name).

Babushka has prepared us a feast. Ollah brings out a bottle of wine ('vah NOH') and five little glasses, about twice the size of a standard Canadian shot glass. Yes, this does include one for little Nazary... after we clink our glasses together in a toast (which happens multiple times over the course of this evening), he sips his little portion of wine, wrinkling his face as if it were poison (yet of course, still begging for more when we are poured another glass!).

We ate bread (slathered in butter and healthy helpings of cheese), a mystery meat (quite delicious, whatever it was), what appeared to be macaroni salad, a salad made up of mixed greens, potatoes (I think I've had potatoes at least twice a day since Sunday), kielbassa, and tort (aka... cake!).
"Yiste, yiste, yiste!" Everytime I paused, Babushka and Slava insisted that I "yiste" (EAT!) much more, no matter what kind of actions I made to portray that I was absolutely, ridiculously STUFFED from "yisting" so much.

Nazary and I played, despite my sleepiness after consuming so much food (and just being wiped out from the daily events, generally speaking). Not surprisingly, he had a mini foosball set, soccer style which kept us entertained. I scored one goal for every six (not exaggerating this!) that he scored on me. I was trying very hard, and was getting embarassed at my inadequacy... We also worked intently on a puzzle, and he helped me practice my Ukrainian alphabet - an excellent little tutor he was.

Before long, it was nearly midnight - and Slava and I needed to walk back to her apartment. I trusted Slava, assuming that we would be safe tramping through the dark streets of Ternopil at this time of night. I offered my arm to her like a gentlman would (please, no laughter) and off we went. We passed many iffy-looking characters, I prayed for our safety. We were back at the apartment within half an hour, and enjoyed our little adventure through the neighbourhood (although Mom, I promise I will not make that journey by my self anytime soon!). Slava had chatted my ear off, and I interjected with one of my 12 Ukrainian words whenever possible. A beautiful friendship is blooming :)

glimpse of Ternopil, just for you.

2009-05-12T16:32:00.007-04:00

Ternopil, day III.

2009-05-12T06:30:00.004-04:00

Pryvit! (Prih VEET!)
This is Ukrainian for "hi," and we have officially started our language classes at Ternopil's Pedagogical University.

Yesterday, Ira (Iryna) met me at Slava's in order to help me out with Ternopil's bus system... she is a professor at the university, so it was convenient for her to show me the ropes. The ride to the university (or 'universitat') is about 25 minutes, and to ride any bus it costs H 1, 50 (one and a half hrivnya... equal to about 30 cents or so Canadian?).

At 12, we met with the rest of the professors and staff who are involved with us Canadians, as well as our tutors. After announcements and orientation, we had a larrrrrge lunch in the cafeteria and our tutors spent the rest of the afternoon with us, showing us the sights of Ternopil.

One highlight was a boat ride around Ternopil's man made lake... it was H 6 (6 hrivnya, or about a buck Cdn!)... If any of you know the Lonely Island hit song, "I'm On A Boat" well, I was enjoying myself... wearing my flippie floppies while you all be flippin' copies. Haha (Carly, I know you're reading this). We also went downtown, where there are plenty of shops, bars, cafes, etc. as well as a theater. The churches here are incredibly beautiful, from what I've seen so far - it is quite a different landscape than those back home.

Olga, one of our tutors, took the bus home with us and helped us find our apartments (they all look the same!). Ira had written my address down for me, but as my luck would have it, I left it at home. In my room. On my dresser. Thankfully, she had been on the bus already earlier that morning so she remembered where I had gotten on... and I arrived home to Slava with no problems at all, along with Jessica.

Slava's sister was visiting with her grandson, I think that his name is Nazarycik (they each called him something different... so it's kinda hard to play the name game just yet). He's four, and we're buddies now... He looooves soccer, and found a small toy soccer ball that I had packed, which provided us with a solid two or three hours of entertainment.
Another favourite of his was my note for the day (aka the 96 Notes Project). Today I opened a card from Trevor, and it featured Mr. Rogers... Nazarycik kept asking "Tato? Tato?" From what I've gathered this far, 'Tato' is the Ukrainian word for father. I pressed the buttons on the outside of the card, and Mr. Rogers says things like "If you are a human being, you are fancy too" and "Where ever you are in the world, know that you are very special."
Nazarycik runs to get his grandmother and Slava, and all three of them admire the card of my 'tato' ... Mr. Rogers.
I tried to explain that no, this was not my tato! But gave up after they seemed to like this idea, and that I couldn't argue in Ukrainian yet anyways.

Anyways - I must sign off, it is about 2:10 here in Ternopil and we are supposed to meet our tutors at 2:15. I will post more as I am able... again, thanks for your thoughts and prayers, they are hugely appreciated. Much love!

arrived alive!

2009-05-10T14:02:00.004-04:00

Hi all - this is a quick update... I have arrived safe and sound in Ternopil, Ukraine and am exhausted. I am unsure as to how reliable the Internet is here in my apartment, so blogs and updates will most likely come in random spurts (just a heads up!).

Jessica and I survived a nine hour flight from Toronto to Vienna, and managed to reunite with Ruby at the airport before our departure! We also spent the first half hour or so unpacking and repacking our baggage, until it was under 23 kgs (I fully believed that I was packing pretty lightly for three months. Nope.). Anyways, we managed to survive the parental goodbyes, I was too excited to be all that sentimental (I mean that in the best possible way, Mom & Dad!) Turns out the girl beside me on my flight (Kristina) was born and raised in Odessa, Ukraine - she was friendly and gave me good advice about who/what to watch out for.

We had a few hours in Vienna before flying on to Lviv, but sadly didn't manage to get out of the airport... The plane to Lviv was tiny and only about half full, giving us plenty of sleeping room (hallelujah! - it was much needed rest).
I was nervous about going through customs in Lviv, mainly because all of the security gaurds/officers were scary, stern, solemn Soviet fellows (kinda intimidating). Turns out it wasn't a problem at all; as soon as we collected our baggage we were met by Olena, who will be our language professor as of tomorrow, along with two of her students (who spoke wonderful English - a relief by that point).

Originally we were supposed to be taking a train from Lviv the rest of the way into Ternopil, but Olena had managed to rent a bus as she was collecting some students from Saskatchewan as well. It was dead silent the entire trip - all 8 (I think) of us were passed out, sound asleep. Our host families then met us at a central station in Ternopil.

I'm living with an older woman named Slava - who speaks absolutely NO English... I guess this just means I'll have to work harder at learning Ukrainian?! I was picked up by her son Igor (? not entirely sure if that is actually his name) and his wife Ira, who teaches at the pedagogical university where our language classes will be held. It was a relief/comfort to be able to speak English with Ira... she acted as translator between Slava and I, and as overwhelmed as I am right now, that aid in the language barrier is something that I am incredibly thankful for.

Not going to lie - I lost it once I started unpacking here... Just started bawling. I can't communicate with Slava, I'm thirsty, I can't call home just yet, and I have no idea where I am or how to figure out this language as the alphabet is entirely new/foreign to me. And, I already missed Jessica... I'm thankful that we have our own host families, as we will each have our own individual, unique experiences over the next few months - but I just needed a hug at that point, and I'm pretty sure that I would have scared Slava and company if I had asked for one. I cannot WAIT to shower and sleep, I'm a dirtbag after all this travel and am smart enough to realize the beauty of sleep... Good night!

----------

Side note #1: I am now 7 hours ahead of y'all back in Ontario ... and will probably be getting a phone in the next few days. Will keep you posted.

Side note #2: I managed to collect more than 96 notes... more than one note per day that I'm abroad. Yes, Jesse, the 'Jump Rope for Heart theory' came through... thanks to Steve Boesveld on having faith in my notes. Ha.

Side note #3: Your thoughts and prayers are INCREDIBLY, undeniably, overwhelmingly appreciated! I am grateful and blessed to have so many awesome people encouraging me in this crazy adventure. You all mean the world to me, thanks for the support this far!

'your mountain is waiting.'

2009-05-09T12:53:00.004-04:00

In a few hours, I'll FINALLY be en route to Ternopil, Ukraine.

Rather than try and sort out all of my mixed up feelings and overwhelming sense of excitement right at this very moment (which would be nearly impossible), I'm sharing the wise words of a wise man... Dr. Seuss. Fitting, no?

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
Dr. Seuss

Congratulations! Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes,
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets, Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
You’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do
to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.

Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t... Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true and hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters?
Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind?

Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…… for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to goor a bus to come, or a plane to goor the mail to come,
or the rain to goor the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.
NO! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying.

You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go!
There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.
There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.

Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win 'cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!

Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go, though the weather be foul
On you will go, though your enemies prowl
On you will go, though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems, whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.
with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby
or Brayor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!

Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

it's the final countdown.

2009-05-05T12:07:00.004-04:00

As always - I've been procrastinating. I haven't had a problem keeping up with this blog until recently... between finishing exams, submitting overdue assignments, working at the bistro, moving back to Caledonia from Waterloo, and finalizing Ukraine details, I've hardly had time to breathe, let alone blog.

So this is me checking in... I'm taking it day by day - of which there are only four until D-Day --- DEPARTURE!

Despite all my running around, that to do list of mine is still far too overwhelming. Somehow I know it will all fall into place in the nick of time. At this point, I'm not even worried... I'm beyond excited and am thinking back to a conversation I had with Joanne, about being a ball of restless, impatient energy. As if I'm on the edge of something bigger than I can understand right now, on the cusp of some major (yet positive) changes. I have high expectations for the unexpected, for what is to come in the days and weeks ahead!

I'm ready.

quote of the day, v. IV

2009-04-29T11:39:00.011-04:00

'Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved,

clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness,

humility, gentleness and patience.'

- Colossians 3:12

[Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and especially patience are characteristics that will benefit all of us as we depart for our placements in the next few days... All the best!]

Photo Credit: Adbusters

thank you, ruby ku.

2009-04-15T00:05:00.010-04:00

Last week, I made the mistake of meeting Ruby at Starbucks/Chapters to catch up. Since then, I've been unable to focus or concentrate on my exams and overdue assignments (not that I was concentrating all that well on them in the first place).
We talked about partnering social action with various aspects of design, creative forms of consulting, and becoming 'social consultants' (Google that, I dare you... spoiler alert: there's nothing relevant!).

To the right is Ruby's interpretation of me and a few of the random things I would love to pursue (a small sampling, if you will). From this scrap of paper came some serious ideas and inspiration for the future - which is why I felt the need to share this here. Taking time out on a Sunday night in the midst of exam and piles of 'to do's wasn't a mistake, I'm looking back at it as a step forward.

this matters. and here's why.

2009-04-09T00:23:00.023-04:00

"I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbour. Do you know your next door neighbour?"

- Mother Teresa

In a nutshell, this quote is why service learning matters to me. How many of us actually know our neighbours? I hardly know the two girls in the apartment upstairs apartment of my own house, let alone the family who recently moved in next door, or the other students living on my street. Neighbourhoods are not what they used to be. It seems that our communities are more private than in the past, and that people are too busy to make deeper personal connections. For example - we no longer chat with the tellers at the bank; we have ATMs that are more convenient. We can ignore the cashier at the grocery store; the self check-out is a faster option.

Service learning, according to the Beyond Borders brochures, aims to prepare students as global citizens in a globalized world, effect social change, and make use of our abilities and education in service to others. But this final reflection requires me to answer 'so what?'. Those ideals are positive, but don't say much about what I've learned this term or why I'm a participant.

I'm a big fan of lists. And so, inspired by the infamous top ten lists of David Letterman, I will convince you of the value and importance of service learning.

top ten reasons why service learning matters:

it holds us accountable. Service learning allows us to (pardon the cliche) "practice what we preach." Through service learning, we are taking ownership of our education by applying what we have learned in a wide variety of circumstances.
it encourages (and requires) dialogue. Through service learning opportunities, we enter into relationships with others. Asking questions, searching for answers, we are constantly in conversation.
you don't actually need a passport. Turns out, you don't have to travel overseas to participate in service learning. It can be as simple as spending a few hours a week volunteering with a local organization (i.e., the Working Centre).
mutual empowerment. We are not sent to various international placements with a plan or a solution, to push our Western way of living onto a developing nation. We might not be all that helpful. Through building new relationships in a new culture, we are all on the same footing.
endless possibilities. Service learning is not tied down to any one location or action, it does not have an agenda, it does not have an expiry date. It could be ten hours, or ten months, it could be a lifelong process.
it is frustrating. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It means you're tackling something strange and unfamiliar, and in the meantime, new skills or ideas are likely developed. "It is when you are frustrated, that you really learn." - Joanne Benham Rennick.
it lays foundations for the future. Talking to Myroslaw was encouraging for Jessica and I, because we are building on success of the past. Five years ago, there were no volunteers at the Internat. Since then, numerous alumni have spent their summer months caring for the girls of this Ukrainian orphanage. In five more years, who knows - the university students of Ternopil may be in partnership with the Internat, working towards minimizing the strong stigma against the disabled. We may not be able to see the impact of our actions, but each individual action is a small step forward. Change is not impossible.
exploration of the unknown. We live in world full of beauty, creativity, and diversity - Henry Miller said it best: "Develop an interest in life as you see it, the people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." –Henry Miller.
the lost art of facilitation. Facilitation is an idea explored in Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed, and is an incredibly valuable skill to possess. We do not use the skill of facilitation nearly as much as we should, and we're really not that great at it. We do not practice it enough to become good, not to mention great, at it. Service learning opportunities allow us to develop facilitation skills throughout authentic education experiences.
in the end, it all adds up. I've previously written about the power of our ordinary actions. Throughout the fall term, Scott warned us that we would not really have a significant impact on the communities that we will be serving this summer. I beg to differ. While things may not be profoundly different once we leave in August, I still think that whatever we accomplish in our various placements, no matter how small or insignificant our achievements are, will be worthwhile. If it only serves to teach us a lesson that we will carry with us, or if our visit only gives a disabled child the chance to venture outside of the Internat for the first time, I'd say that alone is a small victory. Baby steps... baby steps!

to the great unknown!

2009-04-08T10:02:00.015-04:00

well, guys - the end is near.

yet the end of this semester brings beginnings and new adventures.

we will be sent off into the world in mere weeks.

we have no idea what we're in for.

but, we've come this far...

together, we have survived Plagues and Pedagogies,

presentations and pancake breakfasts.

---

I hope and pray that:

... we all remain safe and sound throughout our placements

(Katie, invest in a leash for John. Don't lose him.).

... our eyes remain open to absolutely everything about our

new surroundings. Be fully present!

... we experience enough frustration to learn,

grow, and stretch beyond our limits.

... we experience enough joy and excitement

to make all those frustrations well worth it.

... we are amazed by how big this world really is.

... we remember that we're all in this together.

we've been head faked by Joanne.

2009-04-06T13:55:00.013-04:00

In Randy Pausch's memoir, The Last Lecture, he asks his audience to pay close enough attention to figure out the 'head fake.' Now, I don't exactly read Sports Illustrated every week, or even visit tsn.com regularly (with the exception of the recent World Figure Skating Championships held in Los Angelos!). But from what I understand, a 'head fake' is a term associated with basketball, something about tricking your opponent - acting as if you are going to throw or pass the ball one way, but in the end, choosing a different direction than expected.

To the class of 08/09 - Joanne has used this trickery and deceit on us as a class. She has 'head-faked' us. She had sent us all the RS 383 syllabus back in December, before the winter semester had even started... sending us into little bouts of worry, as we only had about four or five actual classes - and she expected us to complete a minimum of 18 hours of volounteering!? Didn't she realize that we were busy students with heavy workloads?! AND what on earth was this 'blogging' she spoke of!? All of it was utterly bizarre; it was a course outline that was unheard of as it did not have a required textbook, regularly scheduled classes, or even any scheduled midterms or exams. No final? No structure? What was she thinking!?

Despite the fears of disorganization and pure chaos, and only attending five classes, RS 383 has been something else. Having been forced to read Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Scott Kline last fall, it is ridiculous that noone saw through Joanne's slick scheme earlier. After reading Marissa's latest epiphany, it all made sense! Each of the required RS courses of the Beyond Borders program applied Freire's theories of authentic education. Rather than simply 'depositing' information into their students (the general 'banking' method seen in the educational institutions of today), both Scott and Joanne made use of the interactional teaching/pedagogical learning approach that Freire writes of.

Some key concepts that are found within Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed include:

"Authentic education will involve dialogue between the student and teacher." This broadens our world context and prospective, and is more than just a deposit of new information.

"The importance of mutual respect and cooperation." Joanne allowed us to take ownership of this class, as we explored the Working Centre and the various volounteer opportunities found there, as well as through the presentations and discussions regaring our placement organizations and host countries. As a class, we took accountability for sharing our experiences (thanks to our handy blogs) and throughout fundraising ventures together.

"Radical interaction." This actually took place, on different occasions (ask Ruby for footage of Joanne letting loose WITH... yes, with... her students - the SJU Formal was a night to remember).

"Liberation from an objective relationship to a subjective relationship." In an objective relationship, there is no dialogue or engagement, things are defined for you, whereas in a subjective relationship, there is conversation, mutual dialogue, and actions that take place in a beneficial process.

As for the 'head fake,' we were all expecting a typical class with regular readings, assignments, and lectures. Scott and Joanne would tell us what we needed to know, and we would memorize the theories we were taught. Yet the unstructured format of both the fall and winter RS classes taught me more than I've learned in past lectures and average classes. I value the lessons learned regarding respect, cooperation, interaction, dialogue, and engagement. I can see the benefits of authentic education, and the powerful impact that relationships can have on our communities.

why service learning matters.

2009-03-28T10:53:00.007-04:00

· “Faith without deeds is dead.”

· What’s the point of learning if you are not going to USE it?
· Responsible citizenship

· Action = good, reflection = better...
· Humanity – connections – relationships

· ‘Working towards a more peaceable world’

– Beyond Borders tagline

· What we OUGHT to do (Ought vs. Is)

· Morality
· Calling, purpose
· Sense of duty

· ‘Once you know what justice is, you have the obligation to act.’

· Idea of a social contract, norms, values...

· Belonging (greater sense of community?)

· Tasks of ethics (describe/prescribe)

· Taking time to understand a problem, better able to arrive at an appropriate solution... ?

· Engaging in dialogue, finding your own voice. allowing others to do the same

· Solidarity

(a note to Joanne... these are some initial thoughts and ideas, please do not consider this my 'final!' Thanks/dyakuju.)

because it's good for us.

2009-03-26T00:13:00.005-04:00

quickly checking in before I call it a night...
so much to do, so little time! (see list above. yiiiiiikes.)
forty six days til departure. eeeeeeee!

I met with Ruby this morning to film (as if she doesn't have enough on her plate right now - she is putting together a video for the BB program...!), and we both realized that we're grateful for the eight-months-plus of preparation that we gain through our classes at St. Jerome's as well as the seminars.

By this point, most of us just want to board that plane and GO. Myself included. But looking back, I think that the coursework of this program really is an important ingredient (I can hear my class groaning as I write this... uh huh), providing us with the tools for making sense of, and making the most of, our volunteer placements abroad this summer. We have been challenged and surprised this far - without leaving home. Personally, I've come a long way since Scott intially terrified us with lectures on lifeboat ethics, The Plague, and the dreaded Pedagogy of the Oppressed... and am trying to find the proper words to describe the growth (academically and otherwise) I've experienced over the last few months.

Simply put: think of those lectures and readings as Buckley's cough medicine... tasting nasty but working like a charm, doing their job to make us better (responsible) students and citizens. (How's that for a plug?! ...SJU Development Office - watch out, here I come!)

through our ordinary actions...

2009-03-22T17:06:00.029-04:00

Somehow, I managed to finish reading Jean Vanier's Encountering 'the Other' over the past weekend (mind you, it is a mere 62 pages long). Various chapters focus on concepts of trust, forfeiting power, disabilities and inequalities, fear, listening and communication, peace, celebrating differences, as well as reconciliation and change.

Reflecting on these concepts could turn into a series of blog entries, as I've made more notes on this book than I have taken in certain classes this term. In short, I encourage anyone involved with Beyond Borders and anyone with an interest in social justice to read Encountering 'the 'Other.' (And hey, it's only 62 pages!) Vanier stresses the importance of relationships, of community, of encountering what we do not know. He beautifully writes that 'to live is to risk,' that overcoming fear can change our lives in unimaginable ways. As I prepare for my time in Ukraine, this is encouraging - I hope to embrace the bumps and pitfalls of this journey just as much as the excitement and the highlights. I fear that the truth is, no matter what I do, I will not be prepared for what I will encounter. This is just a plain and simple reality. All the awareness and research I could ever do between now and my departure will still leave me at a loss in Ternopil. I don't think that I can fully comprehend or realize how I will be changed by the time I return home mid-August.

“If people have a toothache, you don’t just pray for him or her; you take them to a good dentist. And Jesus says to us: ‘It’s up to you to do something about it,

but I will give you my spirit.

I’ll give you a new force, a new strength, and a new wisdom

so that you can break down the dividing walls of hostility.’

It’s up to you and me, but God will give us strength if we open our hearts to Him and ask for that strength. We hear about the presence of God in the stories that are told of people struggling to bring peace. God trusts us so much and loves us so much; He wants us to become men and women who can receive forgiveness and give forgiveness, who can receive wisdom and give wisdom. Jesus kneeling before his disciples is a revelation of Jesus kneeling at our feet saying,

‘I trust you, I believe in you, I love you’ and

calling us to stand up and to work for love.”

- Encountering 'the Other,' page 61.

Most of us have been drawn to Beyond Borders because, in some way, we hope to break out of the ordinary, out of of the comfortable lives that we have here in Waterloo. We hope to be able to make a positive difference in a completely different culture, as crazy and/or naive that sounds. Over the past semester, I have read about the works of Jean Vanier, of Mother Teresa, of Marc and Craig Kielberger, and of Shane Claiborne (founder of the Simple Way, author of The Irresistable Revolution). These individuals have also lived as 'ordinary radicals,' each having a profound impact on the lives of others.

As a class, we have been told (warned?) that we are not going to single handedly change the communities that we will enter into this summer. That our various experiences will more than likely have a larger influence on our own lives than the lives of those we will encounter in Ukraine, in Ghana, in Ecuador, or in Honduras. But part of me is (naively) hoping for something bigger, hoping that through our ordinary actions we will have opportunities to empower those around us to make greater changes.

Mother Teresa did 'small things with great love,' Jean Vanier humbly lived among the disabled and the broken, the Kielberger brothers continue to promote children's rights, and Shane Claiborne has spent time in Iraq, India, and Philadelphia passionately pursuing social justice and ideals of the early church. I think that we have more power than we realize, that small changes really do add up and eventually have a greater impact than we are initially aware of.

“Have we forgotten that Jesus is kneeling at our feet asking us to serve each other just where we are?”
- Jean Vanier.

quote of the day, v. III

2009-03-18T00:21:00.004-04:00

"I know that God will not give me anything

that I cannot handle.

I only wish that He didn't trust me so much."

- Mother Teresa

undiscovered europe: ukraine

2009-03-16T16:29:00.003-04:00

this video was put together by the Ministry of Culture and Tourism of Ukraine... definitely worthwhile and informative!

let me be naive.

2009-03-14T18:48:00.005-04:00

Others involved with Beyond Borders may have questioned their motives and reasoning for applying by this point in the game. I honestly haven’t doubted my commitment (yet), while there are a few ‘what ifs?’ worrying me, I strongly believe that I will not regret my BB experience. I initially applied to the program because I had always wanted to participate in some sort of international exchange while in university, and it seemed like the perfect combination of education, travel, and service opportunities. In addition to a personal curiosity towards social action and justice (I’m an SDS major, after all), I figured I would learn more in a three month placement overseas than I could ever gain in a classroom.

I can safely assume that we all hope that our experiences this summer will make a difference, and that we will in turn be positively changed. Maybe even have a significant impact on a community that is not our own. I joke about wanting to save the world, and there is truth in that. I realize that I am just one person, I will only be a part of Internat life for a mere three months, and that I will not be able to overcome the intense social stigmatization of the disabled that exists in Ukraine. Who am I to think that I can move mountains?! I have high hopes, and I fear that they will come crashing down while in Ternopil.

I know better than to assume that I can single-handedly save the girls of the Internat, let alone the rest of the world. I know that I will become angered by and frustrated with the strong stigmatization existing in Ukraine, so strong that anyone with a disability is not to be seen in public. I know that my heart will break, while I am in Ternopil and again when I return home, for those who have been abandoned and who lack a family. I know that I will become attached to some of the girls more than others, and that there will be days when I will not want to go to my placement because of my frustrations. I know that I will feel like I am not contributing, that my time there is pointless. While I know it is going to help me, expecting the negative aspects ahead of time, I occasionally want to ignore this awareness – just let me be naive, let me go into this with the best of intentions and high spirits, intent on positive change. Let me be naive, assuming that my work will be valued and that others will find it beneficial.

But – Myroslaw told Jessica and I that we are ‘building on success’ (...No pressure, right?!). Since his first visit to Ternopil a few years back, progress has in fact been made. Myroslaw is personally responsible for the existing partnership between the pedagogical university in Ternopil, the Internat, and Beyond Borders/St. Jerome’s University. He has been a source of invaluable encouragement and advice, for which I am incredibly appreciative (as is Jessica!). In the four years that BB students have worked in the Internat, social stereotypes have taken baby steps forward. Ukrainian students at the pedagogical university were stunned that Canadians had come to love the ‘unlovable,’ and according to Myroslaw, are slowly beginning to work together with the Internat staff. This is absolutely huge in a society where parents intentionally abandon their disabled children – simply for being born imperfect, 'defective'.

I only hope that I will make the most of my time and in Ternopil, that I will not be discouraged, and that Jessica and I will be able to assist the Internat staff. I pray that my heart will have enough room to fall in love with each child of the Internat!

the great divide.

2009-03-11T23:36:00.009-04:00

WEST

· More likely to identify selves as ethnically Ukrainian

· In the past, has been under the political rule of Poland, Lithuania, Austria, and Romania

· Due to history, Western Ukrainians under a more liberal rule, a more tolerant political environment... therefore greater freedom to develop own political and social institutions

· Rural, less development

· Lower population density compared to the East

· Highly value ties with the European Union

EAST

· Throughout much of Eastern Ukraine’s history,

citizens were under the rule of tsarist Russia

· Eastern Ukrainians lived under a repressive political

system in the past (Russian/Soviet control)

· Left wing political systems in place throughout history –

Communist, Socialist roots

· Therefore more industrialized, urban

· Higher population density in comparison to the West

· Many people in the East continue to speak Russian rather than Ukrainian

· Maintaining ties to Russia is of higher importance (left wing tendencies)

let the countdown begin.

2009-03-09T00:02:00.007-04:00

After meeting with Myroslaw Tataryn

(the dean and vice-president of St. Jerome's), Jessica and I now have a departure date set in place. We will be on our way to Ternopil in 62 days! The plan is to fly out of Toronto on May 9th, and we will stop in Vienna and Lviv before finally arriving in Ternopil to meet our host families on May 10th. Our language classes at the Hnatiuk Pedagogical University will begin immediately on the Monday (May 11th), and continue for three weeks. I feel that now that we know the 'official' departure date, a huge step forward has been taken. It's strange that having a set date makes the entire journey seem more realistic or believable; now we're able to put a deadline on those pesky to do lists and circle the date on our calendars as it is no longer up in the air. The trick now will be attempting to manage the anticipation (and nerves) for the next 62 days... trying to focus!

quote of the day, v. II

2009-03-06T00:50:00.010-05:00

"...When we encounter, we come to know.
When we come to know, we are able to understand.
When we understand, healing and peace can really grow.
Peace cannot be imposed by politicians or churches.
Peace has to grow within each person if it is to endure.
Our society can only be healed when each person in it is healed.
That healing comes not from avoidance or seperation, but from encountering."

Jean Vanier, Encountering 'the Other'

This concept of encountering the unfamiliar ties in especially well with the basic themes of Beyond Borders, as several of us will be attending a lecture on the life and service of Jean Vanier on March 6th at St. Jerome's. A number of the placements offered through Intercordia Canada are within the various L'Arche communities established by Jean Vanier. L'Arche aims to build solidarity, providing a voice and opportunities to those living with various disabilities.

quote of the day.

2009-03-02T10:50:00.002-05:00

"some stories don't have a
clear beginning, middle, and end.
life is about not knowing, having to change,
taking the moment and making the best of it,
without knowing what's going to happen next.
delicious ambiguity... "

- gilda radner.

first impressions... or lack thereof.

2009-03-02T00:11:00.010-05:00

I finally began my volunteer placement through the Working Centre this past Friday afternoon. Rebecca has assigned me to Worth a Second Look (aka 'WASL'), a store run by volunteers and employees of the Working Centre. The goal is to minimize waste by reusing items in good condition, and provide affordable household items to the greater community.

Of course, this is a pretty simplified description of everything that they offer; I'd recommend clicking on the link and visiting their website for more information on their services.

I wish that I had experienced an incredible moment of clarity during my first shift on Friday, but to be honest, it was pretty ho-hum. Matt and Jessica are also doing their volunteer placements at WASL, and have had some time to reflect on their experiences there this far... I spent my first shift getting to know the store by re-stocking the shelves. No extended encounters with staff or customers took place, as I was put to work right away and quietly sorted through the incoming items.

As part of the Beyond Borders program (and preparation for the community service aspect of our placements this summer), we are required to complete at least 18 hours of volunteer work at the Working Centre this term. This is definitely a hands-on, learn-by-doing type of course, which is a refreshing change from the typical courses offered by universities today. I made a note during our first class with Joanne back in January - action is good, but reflection is better. I admit, this post is not full of introspection or even a deeper look at my initial WASL experience. Instead, it is more of a reminder to dig a little deeper in the future. To figure out why, and to quote the themes of past Beyond Borders seminars, to closely examine the stories that shape our individual lives and the communities that we are a part of.
I believe that experiences are what we make of them - how much effort you put into something typically determines how much is gained in return.

wondering.

2009-02-27T20:32:00.011-05:00

One thing you may or may not know about me: my patience levels are extraordinarily low. I claim I was just 'born this way,' I was premature after all! But still, I typically look at what is ahead of me rather than focusing on the present. I'm big on anticipation.

Marissa pointed out that we have only 10 (10!) weeks before we depart for our placements. That being said, I'm getting antsy... I want to know when I'll be leaving, who I'll be living with, and whether or not I will have some time to travel and explore before coming home for a wedding mid-August.

Details are slightly up in the air, as my placement at the Internat with Jessica is now seperate from Intercordia Canada. From what I've been told this far, it is because the staff at the Internat prefers that we have Ukrainian language training; the language classes that we will take in Ternopil are not typical of other Intercordia placements. St. Jerome's is now in charge of booking our tickets, travel insurance, etc., rather than Intercordia.

I'm not sure what kind of other changes or alterations this means as of yet, as Jessica and I have to meet with Elyse (our wonderwoman at St. Jerome's), Joanne (our fearless leader and professor), and Myroslaw (dean of St. Jerome's) next week to sort through the details.

ukraine: by the numbers.

2009-02-23T22:58:00.023-05:00

1991. Ukraine gains independance after the dissolution of the USSR.

47 million. approximate population of Ukraine, as of 2006.

66. estimated life expectancy at birth, as of 2004.

7,000. annual number of deaths of children under the age of 5.

100,000. estimated number of street children within Ukraine.

29% of Ukrainians living below the poverty line, as of 1999.

20% of Ukrainian women who regularly face domestic abuse.

62,000. number of children found in residential institutions throughout Ukraine.

2004. year of the 'Orange Revolution,' in hopes of political and economical reform of the Ukrainian government.

487. number of HIV testing and counselling sites within Ukraine.

53,000. total number of Ukrainians in need of antiretroviral therapy (related to HIV) in 2005, according to the World Health Organization.

200,000. number of women over the age of 15 living with HIV, as of 2005.

sources: UNICEF, the World Health Organization

more Українська!

2009-02-21T14:05:00.009-05:00

Carly (aka, my darling sister) sent me a birthday card a few weeks ago... in Українська! I didn't know she was multi-lingual, but the Ukrainian content was courtesy of her Faulkner teammate, Maryna. Car was strict - she wouldn't (and still won't!) tell me what the Ukrainian message said; I have to translate it all on my own. Sneaky, eh!?
So far I've only gotten four (tres important) words: "Happy Birthday, Jen!" (obviously... it's a birthday card, after all) as well as the word "Ukraine."
I'm basically learning the Українська alphabet as I go along... and at this rate, I'll be turning 23 by the time I translate the rest of the card!

hnatiuk pedagogical university.

2009-02-17T11:26:00.008-05:00

Before Jessica and I begin our volunteer placement at the Internat, we will be taking Українська (Ukrainian) language courses at a local university in Ternopil.

As of right now, I'm not 100% sure as to which university we will be studying at, but I'm assuming that we will be studying at the Ternopil V. Hnatiuk National Pedagogical University.

But keep in mind that this hunch of mine is only based on my 'detective' work so far - the other university in Ternopil - Ternopil National Economic University - doesn't seem to offer language credits (although I could easily be wrong!).

checking in.

2009-02-16T23:09:00.009-05:00

I feel guilty for not posting something incredibly informative or thought provoking as of late. 'Overwhelmed' feels like an understatement right now - my to do list is a monster that has taken on a life of its own. As soon as I am satisfied by crossing off one or two items, four or five seem to spring up out of nowhere in their place. Aaak.
[Insert Joanne's start of term advice here: "It is okay to be frustrated. It is through frustration, that we learn..." And boy, am I ever learning!]

Some bits and pieces:

Sure, I'm fairly chatty. But in front of a church congregation? I totally froze during my initial presentation at my fundraiser. I literally stood at the podium, smiling. Smiling goofily at a lot of people for a few minutes. Just hanging out. At the podium. And managed to squeak through the presentation and recover with a speech prepared once the movie was over. My in-class presentation wasn't quite so awkward. Let's hope that I'll eventually get better at this part.

My passport has been renewed. One less thing to do!

Current Ukrainian anxieties: the food, language and communication barriers, loneliness and isolation, potentially feeling like I'm useless at the orphanage?

I've been trying to do background research on the Internat where I will be volunteering. So far - not much luck! I have so many questions - ...how do the girls end up at the Internat? How long have they been there for? What happens when they are no longer considered 'children,' where do they go? Are they able to be adopted? Are they a part of the education system? Why do orphanages seem to be common in Eastern Europe?

This semester has been one of my most difficult while at UW... My concentration and efforts in other classes have been slip-sliding lower and lower as I've put most of my time and energy into preparations and plans related to Beyond Borders. Next time you see me, please remind me to focus... ? ['Dyakuju!]

the basics.

2009-02-10T22:06:00.005-05:00

U K R A I N E

View more presentations from jendew.

here I am, showcasing my limited PowerPoint skills (eek!)... this presentation was shown at the Fireproof fundraiser last Friday night. It's basically a (very) brief explanation of what I will be doing this summer while in Ukraine, and the basics of Beyond Borders. enjoy.

exploration&inspiration!

2009-02-08T13:52:00.013-05:00

Yesterday, I recieved a gorgeous, handmade travel journal from one of my closest friends. I thought that the inscription inside (from Keri Smith's book, 'How to Be an Explorer...') was absolutely perfect. Definitely visit the link above to be inspired.

source: http://kerismith.com

Дякую!

2009-02-08T09:10:00.007-05:00

Дякую!

On Friday night, I was literally STUNNED by the generosity of those who attended my movie night in York.

Thanks to all of you - I have surpassed my fundraising goals! I am incredibly honoured to be on the recieving end of an amazing amount of support and encouragement.

'Duze dyakuju!'
Thank you very, very much!

fundraising update.

2009-02-02T23:26:00.009-05:00

After watching and posting the video 'The Miniature Earth,' I was struck by how blessed we are here in North America... no matter what the media tells us about the economy. We have beds to sleep in, food in our fridge, and a roof over our head - all of our basic needs are met, day in and day out. For that, we are incredibly lucky; it reminds me of a Scotiabank advertisement that read, "You're richer than you think."

Many of us are also blessed richly with various communities, connections, and a unique network of relationships. Since I have started sharing this journey with others, I have been amazed at the support and encouragement shown to me!

In terms of fundraising, I have surpassed the halfway mark to my goal of $2,000.00. Thank you to those who have generously contributed! I have been blown away by the generousity that I have experienced, and it is very deeply appreciated.

(Spoiler alert: shameless plug ahead!)

Just an FYI... This Friday, February 6th I will be hosting a fundraising event at the Maranatha Christian Reformed Church in York, Ontario. Doors open at 6:30 pm, and refreshments and desserts will be offered before we show Fireproof, a Christian film about a firefighter attempting to save his marriage. I will also be giving a short presentation about the Beyond Borders program and my plans for Ukraine.

Admission is free, and there will be an opportunity to donate to my fundraising efforts. Please contact me if you are interested in attending!

To view the trailer, visit this Fireproof link.

word of the day.

2009-01-29T12:37:00.006-05:00

I have a pen pal currently teaching in Korea - some of you may know her as Emily Darling.
I was delighted to find a letter from her in my mailbox this morning, and this post is a result.

She's warned me of the 'Wanderlust disease,' which leads to a dramatically increased desire to travel.

Emily wisely pointed out that through travelling, experiencing new cultures, and meeting people from around the world, your eyes are opened to how creative God is.

wan.der.lust [ won der luhst]
- noun
- a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.

source: http://dictionary.com

the miniature earth.

2009-01-27T10:03:00.004-05:00

my dear Aunt Jenny sent me an email with a link to "The Miniature Earth," as posted on YouTube. It takes a closer look at poverty worldwide, a message that definitely resonates with those of us participating in Beyond Borders placements this summer. Have a look, and count your blessings... we have so MUCH to be thankful for!

all the small things.

2009-01-23T00:39:00.006-05:00

sometimes the little things turn out to be the bigger things, right? today I had the opportunity to check in with Lisa, who is our go-to girl at Intercordia Canada (one of the partner organizations of Beyond Borders). Lisa has played a huge role in assigning our individual volunteer placements over the fall, along with our professor Scott Kline at St. Jerome's. She has been an amazing help and resource this far (and so has Scott).
It was reassuring to meet with her over Starbucks (mmm... coffee... ) as I'm swept up in the minor details that keep piling higher and higher in preparation for this trip. 'Minor' details include renewing my passport, double checking if I need a particular visa while in Ternopil, whether or not any additional vaccinations or immunizations are necessary, and of course - the ongoing fundraising efforts! Lisa is a calming presence amidst all of this chaos and busyness, and her help and support is greatly appreciated. Merci beaucoup. Or... as they might say in Ukraine, 'Dyakuju!' (... Дякую)

being fully present.

2009-01-17T13:29:00.013-05:00

The other day I came across some quotes that I had copied from Tuesdays With Morrie, by Mitch Albom. I'm posting them here because the ideals of these quotes fit amazingly well with the concepts that shape the Beyond Borders program.

"...the way you get meaning into your life is to
devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around you,
and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from
those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction? ...Offering others
what you have to give."

"Once you start running, it's hard to slow
yourself down. Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little
community of those you love and who love you."

"I believe in being fully present."

Being fully present is advice that has been repeated to us in the Beyond Borders program again, and again, and again. We have centred class discussions around this ideal as we worked through Albert Camus' The Plague, have gained advice from past participants as they shared their experiences with us, and have heard this at the seminars we attended last fall. It embraces the entire experience we will be embarking on as a whole: the good, the bad, and the ugly too.

As we settle into our placements, we are going to enter entirely new communities and will have to find a way to become integrated into them. We'll have to leave the communities and support networks that we have built over the years here at home, and attempt to forge new connections with our host families and the people we will be working with daily. The quotes from Tuesdays With Morrie highlight relationships, communities, connections. These things will be oh so valuable this summer as we head overseas!

Our placements are not necessarily going to be perfect experiences. We will be out of our natural 'element,' that is the point of the program. We will be stretched beyond our limits, and likely grow in ways that we never expected. We are diving into unfamiliar countries, cultures, and atmospheres - I'm not going to lie, I'm overwhelmed by all of these things. I've wondered about the host family that I will be living with, the language that I am struggling to learn, and what food I will be eating. I've wondered about the children that I will probably become very attached to, and how will I find my way around Ternopil (especially if I am unable to clearly communicate)? ...These are only a few examples of the 'what ifs?' floating around my head, and I'm scared. However, I'm also incredibly excited (and thankful) to have this opportunity, and I really do hope to make the most of the whole experience... through the ups and downs of it all.

In our first class this term, Joanne (our professor) reassured us. Frustration is a great thing, because through frustration, you really learn. If you are not frustrated, you are not learning - you already know what you are doing. You are comfortable. When frustrated, you are growing, stretching, learning. And that is kind of exciting...

Як сказати українською ...?

2009-01-14T15:22:00.005-05:00

how do you say (fill in any common English word, phrase, question!) in Ukrainian? at this point in time -- I have absolutely no idea. My thoughtful mother gave me a wonderfully appropriate Christmas gift a few weeks ago: a Ukrainian phrasebook. (Thanks Momma!)

the only thing that I have memorized this far is Добрий день.
it might as well be written in an Asian font, as most of those symbols/letters are from an entirely different alphabet (Cyrillic)! any guess as to what this phrase even means?!
...I'll save you both time and confusion, and spit it right out: Добрий день means "Good day/afternoon," and is pronounced d0-bry den'.

I'm thinking flashcards may be my new best friend as I attempt to learn Українська (Ukrainian). Any tips?

...bare bones

2009-01-10T13:22:00.007-05:00

first things first. my name is Jen, and I will be spending the summer of 2009 in Ternopil, Ukraine. for three months, I will be working in an orphanage along with another UW student (Jessica Vorsteveld).

I've been given this opportunity through the Beyond Borders program run through St. Jerome's University (a Catholic school at UW), in partnership with Intercordia Canada.

this is where I will be recording my experiences - partly for a class project (RS 383), and more importantly, to invite others on the journey that I will be embarking on this summer! I am hoping that this blog will become more than an assignment, and that it will enable me to stay connected to family and friends while I am away.