my Ukrainian home.

sick of Сметана.

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I have eaten approximately 76 omelettes since my first breakfast in Ternopil.
I have slowly warmed up to strange dishes such as varyneky and borsch, and even gotten used to espresso-sized cups of coffee.
I am incredibly grateful to Slava for the generousity she has showered me with over the last few months, but there are a few foods that aren't viable options in Ukraine.
What kind of foods, you ask? Look at my latest list for a better understanding of what my taste buds have been missing... Смачного! (fyi: the Ukrainian equivalent to 'bon appetit!')

Jen's Official Taste Bud Wish List

1. Bowls upon bowls of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
   
2. Cereal in general - Alphabits, Rice Krispies, Froot Loops, Honeycomb... it's all good.
3. Carly's infamous grilled cheese sandwiches, with a large side of (free) ketchup
4. a Large double-double from Timmy Ho's
5. minimum 6L of glorious chocolate milk (Ukrainian dairy products do not agree with my body, with the exception of ice cream)
6. salt and vinegar chips (of the vast array of unique Ukrainian potato chips... there is nothing that comes close to Miss Vickie's)
7. Popsicles
8. fish and chips... heavy on the vinegar, please
9. a Chocolate Extreme blizzard a la DQ
10. Garlic. Bread.
11. a Spicy Italian sub from Subway
12. popcorn so buttery it could only be found in a movie theater lobby...
13. Cheese Capaletti
    
14. SALAMI.
15. "Oma" Pancakes, with sprinkles and maple syrup
    
16. mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce
17. onion rings
18. granola bars (preferably chocolate-dipped)
19. hot dogs... yes, that's right. Street meat? Yes, please.
20. a Muffaletta sandwich (served fresh from the Black Hole Bistro)
21. Rockets
22. saltine crackers
23. Skim milk... like I said, my body hasn't agreed with Ukrainian dairy. Unfortunately.
24. Kraft Dinner
25. Anything else that I can load with (complimentary) ketchup.
26. freezies (blue, red, or peach)
27. my momma's homemade waffles on a Sunday morning
28. spinach dip... mmm.
29. having a brewski or two with my dad and brothers, sitting on the deck with our dogs after a days work. Not necessarily a taste, but a taste of home that dirt cheap Ukrainian beer just doesn't compare to.
    

my Ukrainian Bucket List.

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It's close enough to Friday as I write this, meaning that my time in Ternopil is rapidly drawing to a close. I have merely one week left in Ukraine, before Jessica and I fly out of Lviv and into Vienna. After a few days of exploring Austria, I'll be heading home sweet home - absolutely crazy to think about!

There are a million and three things that I would love to accomplish before next Friday, but chances are I'll run out of time (and probably money as well). As I'm a big fan of lists, here is a glimpse at what I am affectionately referring to as my 'Ukrainian Bucket List.' Enjoy.




1. Buy (or make?) an appropriate thank you gift for Slava - something that she will actually use and appreciate, not something that will collect dust in one of the many shellacked wardrobes in this apartment... I am going to recruit Ira for help with this project ASAP.

2. Two words: Gelato. Mafia. We've been hearing delicious rumours about this little cafe from our tutors since May... our Ternopil experience would be incomplete without a visit.

3. Visit the family dacha. I need to represent the Vos family well, and prove that I do have a green thumb (even if it's a stretch). If nothing else, it will be a yummy experience - fresh berries and vegetables galore.

4. Go bowling with Olga and Yevhan. Another thing that we've been meaning to do with our tutors since May. Nothing like the last minute, eh!?

5. Host an Internat concert. We have rearranged concert plans several times, and will end up having a casual performance and a small party with the girls on Monday. Videos to be posted later, definitely.

6. Eat an entire "roll" of Морозово. Ukrainian ice cream (otherwise known as 'Морозово') is packed in the same fashion as sausage. Jessica and I plan to eat an entire roll of ice cream at some point in the next week (preferably while watching Saved By the Bell or Flight of the Conchords).

7. At least one evening per week, Jessica and I get together to catch up with the gang from Bayside. Zack, Slater, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech have been a major part of our lives in Ukraine; it's sad, but we reference these characters as if they are our friends back in Waterloo. The two of us are determined to finish watching Season Three of Saved By the Bell over the course of the next week. (You know your life is rough when this is a task on a to do list...)

8. My Opa has a massive collection of license plates from all over Canada, the US, and the rest of the world. I'm pretty positive that I've yet to see any plates from Eastern Europe gracing the walls of the greenhouse barn, which still houses all of his license plates. I've talked to some of my people, who know people... but I still might have to beg, borrow, or steal a Ukrainian license plate for Opa. Not sure how I'm going to explain it when I go through customs in Lviv. Have I mentioned how intimidating these ex-Soviet guards are? Is anyone else familiar with the term 'KGB...?'

9. Finish taking pictures and videos of my Ukrainian life - and somehow organize (and minimize?) the hundreds of photos I've already taken over the last few months. I'm hoping to also copy the Internat documentary that our friend Vera, a journalism student from Kyiv, has put together to show everyone back home. It will also hopefully be used as a great resource for Beyond Borders or anyone interested in future placements.

10. Finalize my Vienna plans. I've booked a hostel (Mom, it seems safe, no worries) and have a few ideas of what I'd like to see and do in Austria... but am definitely open to any other suggestions from anyone that has visited the area before!

11. Have an order of Krapka fries, one last time. Given my reputation as a French fry connoisseur, me and my taste buds have ventured into many strange little restaurants in both Ukraine and Poland in search of the perfect fry. Turns out the ultimate Фрий (fries) were on the menu of our neighbourhood bar, Kрапка. Random fact of the day: in Ukraine, I have to pay for ketchup seperately. It's not free. It's been an issue.

12. Somehow bid farewell to the people that I have met and grown to love and appreciate here in Ternopil. My Ukrainian 'family' consists of Slava, who has graciously opened up her home and her life to an overwhelmed Canadian kid; her sons, Ihor and Olleg, their wives, Iryna and Tania, her granddaughter Ira, and her sister, niece, and grand-nephew Nazarycik. Other people who have been a huge part of my life here are our friends and tutors, Olga, Yevhen, and Oksana; our translator, Orest; Gayla and Paul, the American missionaries; Jill, another American with a heart of gold; the church community of Calvary Chapel; and The Davids (David Alenga and David 'Kenya'); Miri - the Third Musketeer and fellow partner in all activities Internat-related; and countless others who have welcomed us here.

borsch for breakfast... and other dining misadventures.

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I am not an adventurous eater.
If you know me at all, it is probably something you've noticed at some point. It is unlikely that I'll ever give up staples such as French fries or chocolate, or stop eating cereal for supper.
Before I left for the Ukraine, my dear mother would often question me, possibly exasperated at my bad habits. "Jennifer, what on earth are you going to eat when you're there?!" To which I would say, "Whatever they give me," and shrug. The Ukrainian diet was the least of my worries as I prepared.

I once heard someone say that Ukrainian women are born to feed people. And whether or not that is legit, my host баба (grandma) Slava is one excellent example of this myth. From day one, Slava has been offering me food constantly... first thing in the morning: "Jenny! Yiste!" right up until bedtime, when tea is prepared and snacks are laid out. Back in May, my first meal with Slava, Ihor (her son), and Iryna (her daughter in law) was an overwhelming smorgasboard of strange new flavours - борщ (borsch), варенуку (varenyky), and mysterious forms of meat (a combination of pork and beef? I keep telling myself it's just chicken) among several other dishes.

I always know what will be served for breakfast - my morning routine consists of an omelette (I've eaten approximately 42 omelettes here in Ukraine) and a wee cup of coffee (I'm getting an extra large coffee at the first Tim Horton's I see in August! Ukrainians are not big on caffeine). Lunch is typically sandwiches, or Канапкий, made by the Slavster. And dinner, well, dinner is almost always a surprise.It may be any combination of salad (with a healthy coat of vegetable oil? plus salt), veggies (often fresh from the dacha), borsch, a form of potato, and possibly holubtsi and/or varenyky. This is all accompanied by a side dish of sour cream - Сметана!

Even eating chips here has been an edible adventure - I assumed that the blue and green bag with the picture of the octopus on it would be salt and vinegar flavoured, based on the very nautical packaging. Nooooooope. They were calamari chips. Don't think they've made their way to Canada yet, nor have my flavour of the week -- sour cream and cheese. Deeeelicious.

One last yummy anecdote: I was able to sleep in gloriously late this past Saturday. I will not even say what time I awoke, because my parents - especially my dad - would be apalled. All I can say is that it was afternoon. (Side note: I am really good at sleeping.) Anyways, Slava was in the kitchen, pointing out the time of day and giving me a Ukrainian lecture. I know that I was not in trouble because she was laughing. However, to my great disappointment, it turns out it was far too late in the day for an omelette or even some coffee - Slava only makes coffee in the am? Unsure.
Anyways, out comes a heaping bowl of borsch - beets, beets, and moooooooore beets. As well as holubtsi (made of cabbage and other delightful veggies... Mom! I eat cabbage now!) and potatoes and sandwiches to boot. The breakfast of champions. As delicious as this meal was, I don't think I fully enjoyed it because mentally, I just couldn't consider these dishes breakfast-appropriate. Silly, I know. I learned my lesson. I will not be sleeping that late ever again... while under Slava's roof, at least. I value my routine breakfast of omelettes and coffee (precious coffee) far too much.

late 'nich' adventures with Slava.

Slava has a sister.
And her sister (I have yet to learn and/or remember her name yet! Terrible, I know... but in my defense, I have had an awful lot to learn in the last four days!) has a grandson, Nazarycik.
Nazarycik has a love for the telephone, and Slava usually gets a call from Nazary (nickname) once or twice a day. She has put me on the phone with him a few times, especially since our eventful afternoon of soccer and my 'tato,' Mr. Rogers. Last night (8:30ish?), she gave me the phone with Nazary excitedly questioning me. Slava then got out our trusty Ukrainian/English dictionary, pointing to a question: 'I would like to extend to you an invitation to my home.'
Laughing, I say "Nich?" (Nich = night). Slava is taking off her apron by this point, putting on her sweater, ready to head out the door. I say "Pa pa" (bye bye) to Nazary... we are off for a visit. Igor (pronounced 'Eehorr') picks us up near the bus stop and off we go, ready to enjoy an evening of fine company.

By the time we get to Nazary's apartment, it is about 9:00. Slava's sister has been cooking (Ukrainians are ALWAYS cooking!) and Ollah, Nazary's mother, has just gotten home from work by the looks of it. Nazary greets me with a handshake, a hug, and broken English - "Hallll ooohhhh Jenneeeeeee furrrrah!" Meanwhile his Grandmother (for simplicity's sake, I'm going to refer to her as 'Babushha' until I discover her name).

Babushka has prepared us a feast. Ollah brings out a bottle of wine ('vah NOH') and five little glasses, about twice the size of a standard Canadian shot glass. Yes, this does include one for little Nazary... after we clink our glasses together in a toast (which happens multiple times over the course of this evening), he sips his little portion of wine, wrinkling his face as if it were poison (yet of course, still begging for more when we are poured another glass!).

We ate bread (slathered in butter and healthy helpings of cheese), a mystery meat (quite delicious, whatever it was), what appeared to be macaroni salad, a salad made up of mixed greens, potatoes (I think I've had potatoes at least twice a day since Sunday), kielbassa, and tort (aka... cake!).
"Yiste, yiste, yiste!" Everytime I paused, Babushka and Slava insisted that I "yiste" (EAT!) much more, no matter what kind of actions I made to portray that I was absolutely, ridiculously STUFFED from "yisting" so much.

Nazary and I played, despite my sleepiness after consuming so much food (and just being wiped out from the daily events, generally speaking). Not surprisingly, he had a mini foosball set, soccer style which kept us entertained. I scored one goal for every six (not exaggerating this!) that he scored on me. I was trying very hard, and was getting embarassed at my inadequacy... We also worked intently on a puzzle, and he helped me practice my Ukrainian alphabet - an excellent little tutor he was.

Before long, it was nearly midnight - and Slava and I needed to walk back to her apartment. I trusted Slava, assuming that we would be safe tramping through the dark streets of Ternopil at this time of night. I offered my arm to her like a gentlman would (please, no laughter) and off we went. We passed many iffy-looking characters, I prayed for our safety. We were back at the apartment within half an hour, and enjoyed our little adventure through the neighbourhood (although Mom, I promise I will not make that journey by my self anytime soon!). Slava had chatted my ear off, and I interjected with one of my 12 Ukrainian words whenever possible. A beautiful friendship is blooming :)