farewells.

"In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it."


- Marianne Williamson

my Ukrainian Bucket List.

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It's close enough to Friday as I write this, meaning that my time in Ternopil is rapidly drawing to a close. I have merely one week left in Ukraine, before Jessica and I fly out of Lviv and into Vienna. After a few days of exploring Austria, I'll be heading home sweet home - absolutely crazy to think about!

There are a million and three things that I would love to accomplish before next Friday, but chances are I'll run out of time (and probably money as well). As I'm a big fan of lists, here is a glimpse at what I am affectionately referring to as my 'Ukrainian Bucket List.' Enjoy.




1. Buy (or make?) an appropriate thank you gift for Slava - something that she will actually use and appreciate, not something that will collect dust in one of the many shellacked wardrobes in this apartment... I am going to recruit Ira for help with this project ASAP.

2. Two words: Gelato. Mafia. We've been hearing delicious rumours about this little cafe from our tutors since May... our Ternopil experience would be incomplete without a visit.

3. Visit the family dacha. I need to represent the Vos family well, and prove that I do have a green thumb (even if it's a stretch). If nothing else, it will be a yummy experience - fresh berries and vegetables galore.

4. Go bowling with Olga and Yevhan. Another thing that we've been meaning to do with our tutors since May. Nothing like the last minute, eh!?

5. Host an Internat concert. We have rearranged concert plans several times, and will end up having a casual performance and a small party with the girls on Monday. Videos to be posted later, definitely.

6. Eat an entire "roll" of Морозово. Ukrainian ice cream (otherwise known as 'Морозово') is packed in the same fashion as sausage. Jessica and I plan to eat an entire roll of ice cream at some point in the next week (preferably while watching Saved By the Bell or Flight of the Conchords).

7. At least one evening per week, Jessica and I get together to catch up with the gang from Bayside. Zack, Slater, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech have been a major part of our lives in Ukraine; it's sad, but we reference these characters as if they are our friends back in Waterloo. The two of us are determined to finish watching Season Three of Saved By the Bell over the course of the next week. (You know your life is rough when this is a task on a to do list...)

8. My Opa has a massive collection of license plates from all over Canada, the US, and the rest of the world. I'm pretty positive that I've yet to see any plates from Eastern Europe gracing the walls of the greenhouse barn, which still houses all of his license plates. I've talked to some of my people, who know people... but I still might have to beg, borrow, or steal a Ukrainian license plate for Opa. Not sure how I'm going to explain it when I go through customs in Lviv. Have I mentioned how intimidating these ex-Soviet guards are? Is anyone else familiar with the term 'KGB...?'

9. Finish taking pictures and videos of my Ukrainian life - and somehow organize (and minimize?) the hundreds of photos I've already taken over the last few months. I'm hoping to also copy the Internat documentary that our friend Vera, a journalism student from Kyiv, has put together to show everyone back home. It will also hopefully be used as a great resource for Beyond Borders or anyone interested in future placements.

10. Finalize my Vienna plans. I've booked a hostel (Mom, it seems safe, no worries) and have a few ideas of what I'd like to see and do in Austria... but am definitely open to any other suggestions from anyone that has visited the area before!

11. Have an order of Krapka fries, one last time. Given my reputation as a French fry connoisseur, me and my taste buds have ventured into many strange little restaurants in both Ukraine and Poland in search of the perfect fry. Turns out the ultimate Фрий (fries) were on the menu of our neighbourhood bar, Kрапка. Random fact of the day: in Ukraine, I have to pay for ketchup seperately. It's not free. It's been an issue.

12. Somehow bid farewell to the people that I have met and grown to love and appreciate here in Ternopil. My Ukrainian 'family' consists of Slava, who has graciously opened up her home and her life to an overwhelmed Canadian kid; her sons, Ihor and Olleg, their wives, Iryna and Tania, her granddaughter Ira, and her sister, niece, and grand-nephew Nazarycik. Other people who have been a huge part of my life here are our friends and tutors, Olga, Yevhen, and Oksana; our translator, Orest; Gayla and Paul, the American missionaries; Jill, another American with a heart of gold; the church community of Calvary Chapel; and The Davids (David Alenga and David 'Kenya'); Miri - the Third Musketeer and fellow partner in all activities Internat-related; and countless others who have welcomed us here.

Інтернат emergency.

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While we were in Poland, Internat staff discovered that Marina, 23, is five months pregnant. We were told about this 'emergency situation' (their reference to Marina's pregnancy) once we returned to work last Wednesday. Thankfully Orest was with us that day, translating through the chaos... we would have been lost without him amid the confusion.

I'm sure some of you (most of you?) might be thinking, How does a girl get pregnant at an isolated, all girls orphanage?! I'll explain what I can, which isn't actually a whole lot. I encourage you folks at home to read Jessica's blog, as she has posted her reactions to this situation and explains it well.

There is an Internat for boys that occasionally partners with our girls' Internat. When these boys reach a certain age, they are 'graduated' or transferred to an old age home. The old age home that they move to happens to be around the corner from the Internat for girls. According to Bogdan, a certain young Casanova named Sascha frequently visits our girls. Sascha has had relationships with several girls; some of these relationships have also resulted in pregnancy. Yet these pregnancies were discovered early on, and were immediately 'taken care of' (read: terminated, aborted).

Bogdan has done his best to discourage Sascha from visiting the Internat. But as Sascha is bigger and stronger than Bogdan, he can easily intimidate him, usually pushing him around and by making other threats of violence. There is only so much that Bogdan can do. The staff of the Internat also need to be held accountable for ensuring a safe and secure environment for every one of the girls who call the Internat home.

In the past, all girls of a certain age were regularly checked for pregnancy on a monthly basis. As mentioned earlier, if a pregnancy was discovered, an abortion would immediately follow. Marina's pregnancy had not been 'discovered' as these monthly checks have not taken place for the last four months. Others noticed Marina's fuller figure as she worked in one of the gardens recently, and sure enough, Marina is approximately five months along. This is why Internat staff refer to the circumstances as 'The Emergency,' and girls over 12 were made to take pregnancy tests right away.

The Internat director has since sent Marina away, to an orphanage in a smaller village. We have been told that this other orphanage is worse off: the conditions are poorer, and the girls there have less resources/support then even our girls do. Marina left the Internat at some point over the weekend; the last day that we saw her was on Friday. Apparently, the director was also upset at how far along Marina's pregnancy is - for it is too late to abort, and he had suggested giving Marina some sort of drug that would kill the baby. (Again, I am just explaining the circumstances going on the limited information that we have been given.)

So, it was decided that the best 'solution' for 'The Emergency' was to dismiss Marina. We have also been told that she will have a C-section and will have her tubes tied (I apologize for not knowing the appropriate term here!). I am unsure as to whether they intend to schedule the C-section soon, assuming that the baby will not survive, or if they will allow Marina to carry the baby to term and then place the baby in yet another orphanage. Either way, Marina does not have a voice in the whole scenario, over her own body, her own child, or her own life.

This unexpected turn of events has led to a million questions, with very few (if any) answers. We are no longer allowed to take the girls into Ternopil for further excursions, we assume that this is to limit outside contact and to keep a tighter rein on the rest of the girls. We have instead held mini-excursions for small groups of girls within the Internat campus, to make up for the fact that we can no longer visit the city with them. At this point, we are not even sure if we will be allowed to invite our host families, friends, and other community members to the concert we are holding in August.

As Jessica writes on her blog, the three of us are completely, absolutely overwhelmed with this situation, how it has been handled, and the issues that are related.

We debated posting this story on our blogs, but I firmly believe that in order to improve conditions at the Internat we must shed as much light on the circumstances as possible. If we do not share their stories and experiences, they remain hidden and any future change is impossible. Awareness is something, a step forward, and is at least better than sweeping the ugly bits under a rug.

I hope that there is truth to what I said to Jess and Miri on Monday, "The more light that we can shed on the Internat, the more accountablity we hold them [director, staff, etc.] to."

a reality check.

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This morning we had the opportunity to go through the files of each girl at the Internat, through the help of Luba (staff) and Orest (translation allstar). Personally, I had been surprised when Irena (supervisor) gave us permission to access these documents - girls who have spent time at the Internat in past summers did not seem to have a lot of background information on any of the girls.

These beautiful, beautiful kids have arrived at the Internat through a wide variety of heartbreaking circumstances. Compiling records on nearly seventy girls, and finding out how they individually arrived at the Internat was a huge task. Again and again, Orest would translate stories of dysfunction and brokenness, of pain and loss.


"Her parents are dead."
"Her mother is mentally ill."
"Their mother was in prison, and their father is dead."
"The custody rights of her parents were taken away by the authorities."
"Both of her parents are alcoholics."
"Her fathers whereabouts are unknown."
"Her parents were junkies."
"Her mother abandoned her when she was born; the abortion had been unsuccessful."


I don't think that I can comprehend these realities just yet. There hasn't been time to process what each girl has been through, how they have been affected by things far beyond their control. Maybe it isn't real to me right now. Maybe it won't even really hit me until I'm home. There is so much more that I'd like to say and express about this experience, I hope in time I'll find the right words.

still overwhelmed.

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Though Jessica and I have been able to visit the Internat twice while taking classes at THNPU, today was our first official day of work. It was also Miri's first Internat visit as well (tomorrow already marks her one week anniversary in Ukraine!). I can only speak for myself, but I am fairly certain that both Jess and Miri are feeling what I'm feeling right now - multiple conflicting emotions, especially the overwhelming sort.

The three of us met at THNPU, as it is a fairly central location from our host families. Oksana Pysarchuk (our former tutor and an overall delightful girl!) was able to tag along for an hour or so - this is always appreciated as her ability to translate comes in kinda handy... We could hear various sounds of laughter, yelling, and crying as we came around the back corner of the Internat - I turn to Miri and say, "Welcome to chaos." Within minutes, all four of us had been swarmed once again by girls of all ages. I was led to a bench, with girls literally all over me - two on my lap, one on each arm, another climbing up behind me. On the other side of the courtyard, the same scenario was unfolding for both Jess and Miri while Oksana was talking with staff.

The girls were called inside to eat lunch (обід) at 1, which gave us a small window of time to take everything in - nice to relax for a minute or two, at least! We talked with a young girl named Улана (Oolana), who lives nearby. She spends a lot of time at the Internat, playing with the girls, and was a huge help to us today in terms of communication and explanations. Hopefully we will be seeing her often. After their lunch, most of the girls head to their rooms to sleep. We spent the rest of the afternoon outside at the Internat park with some of the older girls, playing volleyball, and dancing - Луба (Luba) was an especially impressive interpretive dancer.

We left to catch our bus back into Ternopil around 3, our heads spinning. The three of us (Oksana had left earlier for class) feel that this week will be quite low key, as we'll familiarize ourself with all of the girls and their needs, as well as the staff and the facilities... Hoping to get a better idea of what the girls need most and how we can best serve them in the weeks ahead.

arrived alive!

Hi all - this is a quick update... I have arrived safe and sound in Ternopil, Ukraine and am exhausted. I am unsure as to how reliable the Internet is here in my apartment, so blogs and updates will most likely come in random spurts (just a heads up!).

Jessica and I survived a nine hour flight from Toronto to Vienna, and managed to reunite with Ruby at the airport before our departure! We also spent the first half hour or so unpacking and repacking our baggage, until it was under 23 kgs (I fully believed that I was packing pretty lightly for three months. Nope.). Anyways, we managed to survive the parental goodbyes, I was too excited to be all that sentimental (I mean that in the best possible way, Mom & Dad!) Turns out the girl beside me on my flight (Kristina) was born and raised in Odessa, Ukraine - she was friendly and gave me good advice about who/what to watch out for.

We had a few hours in Vienna before flying on to Lviv, but sadly didn't manage to get out of the airport... The plane to Lviv was tiny and only about half full, giving us plenty of sleeping room (hallelujah! - it was much needed rest).
I was nervous about going through customs in Lviv, mainly because all of the security gaurds/officers were scary, stern, solemn Soviet fellows (kinda intimidating). Turns out it wasn't a problem at all; as soon as we collected our baggage we were met by Olena, who will be our language professor as of tomorrow, along with two of her students (who spoke wonderful English - a relief by that point).

Originally we were supposed to be taking a train from Lviv the rest of the way into Ternopil, but Olena had managed to rent a bus as she was collecting some students from Saskatchewan as well. It was dead silent the entire trip - all 8 (I think) of us were passed out, sound asleep. Our host families then met us at a central station in Ternopil.

I'm living with an older woman named Slava - who speaks absolutely NO English... I guess this just means I'll have to work harder at learning Ukrainian?! I was picked up by her son Igor (? not entirely sure if that is actually his name) and his wife Ira, who teaches at the pedagogical university where our language classes will be held. It was a relief/comfort to be able to speak English with Ira... she acted as translator between Slava and I, and as overwhelmed as I am right now, that aid in the language barrier is something that I am incredibly thankful for.

Not going to lie - I lost it once I started unpacking here... Just started bawling. I can't communicate with Slava, I'm thirsty, I can't call home just yet, and I have no idea where I am or how to figure out this language as the alphabet is entirely new/foreign to me. And, I already missed Jessica... I'm thankful that we have our own host families, as we will each have our own individual, unique experiences over the next few months - but I just needed a hug at that point, and I'm pretty sure that I would have scared Slava and company if I had asked for one. I cannot WAIT to shower and sleep, I'm a dirtbag after all this travel and am smart enough to realize the beauty of sleep... Good night!



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Side note #1: I am now 7 hours ahead of y'all back in Ontario ... and will probably be getting a phone in the next few days. Will keep you posted.


Side note #2: I managed to collect more than 96 notes... more than one note per day that I'm abroad. Yes, Jesse, the 'Jump Rope for Heart theory' came through... thanks to Steve Boesveld on having faith in my notes. Ha.


Side note #3: Your thoughts and prayers are INCREDIBLY, undeniably, overwhelmingly appreciated! I am grateful and blessed to have so many awesome people encouraging me in this crazy adventure. You all mean the world to me, thanks for the support this far!